I was really disappointed last week when I had no choice but to cancel going to a support group meeting. Because they are on the other side of town; everything seems to for over at logan or zillmere and mango hill and the redlands and manly areas are just being so neglected. yet fresh fruit and vegitables and most foods are cheaper down the gold coast then in the redlands and this area used to be a farming area. there is a lot of unemployment and silent suffering going on here. joblessness, and more assaults going on in transit locations and commute areas recently have sparked a lot of concerns for us in the area. tafe and courses so expensive now and they expect students to learn too much too soon and not enough social time during their course so its more enjoyable and easier for adults to finish. I am studying and struggling and I can't pick up work anywhere I have studied in. I just had to forgo the support group meeting because I would have to leave before 7am to get there by 10am and the area that its in is so dangerous worse then here. and here is bad enough. there is a lot of white unemployment. if tafe was the dumping grounds for the unemployable 30 years ago so what ? at least it gave them something better to do then plan break ins and assaults and stealing and other crime. why do I study? why do I bother at all? its never got me anywhere going to university. I made the choice to drop out without a single minor degree over a better larger degree and I don't regret it really. the tide had already turned against us white people here in australia anyway for hope of rights as a white woman. i can't find a white man or a white job or appropriate man or an inappropriate man for that matter as some old bagger once suggested to me. she was all of 80 and said "well if you can't find a quality appropriate man why not find a inappropriate man" and I said I tried that and that didn't work either years ago with a few men. most of them were inappropriate and I blame myself that I was not clever enough to see the future ahead of me more and should have been an asshole bitch like my relatives were. I was brainwashed by nuns. like someone said in a support group to me, "the nuns said to me, chris , we will either get a firm hold on you and you will turn to your faith and conform or you will run wild and rebellous" and she said to me her husband ended up in jail for fraud and she didn't want to go down that road herself, understandably so. i blame myself that I should have seen the future but i din't have a crystal ball but I should have.

I was really disappointed last week when I had no choice but to cancel going to a support group meeting. Because they are on the other side of town; everything seems to for over at logan or zillmere and mango hill and the redlands and manly areas are just being so neglected. yet fresh fruit and vegitables and most foods are cheaper down the gold coast then in the redlands and this area used to be a farming area. there is a lot of unemployment and silent suffering going on here. joblessness, and more assaults going on in transit locations and commute areas recently have sparked a lot of concerns for us in the area. tafe and courses so expensive now and they expect students to learn too much too soon and not enough social time during their course so its more enjoyable and easier for adults to finish. I am studying and struggling and I can't pick up work anywhere I have studied in. I just had to forgo the support group meeting because I would have to leave before 7am to get there by 10am and the area that its in is so dangerous worse then here. and here is bad enough. there is a lot of white unemployment. if tafe was the dumping grounds for the unemployable 30 years ago so what ? at least it gave them something better to do then plan break ins and assaults and stealing and other crime. why do I study? why do I bother at all? its never got me anywhere going to university. I made the choice to drop out without a single minor degree over a better larger degree and I don't regret it really. the tide had already turned against us white people here in australia anyway for hope of rights as a white woman. i can't find a white man or a white job or appropriate man or an inappropriate man for that matter as some old bagger once suggested to me. she was all of 80 and said "well if you can't find a quality appropriate man why not find a inappropriate man" and I said I tried that and that didn't work either years ago with a few men. most of them were inappropriate and I blame myself that I was not clever enough to see the future ahead of me more and should have been an asshole bitch like my relatives were. I was brainwashed by nuns. like someone said in a support group to me, "the nuns said to me, chris , we will either get a firm hold on you and you will turn to your faith and conform or you will run wild and rebellous" and she said to me her husband ended up in jail for fraud and she didn't want to go down that road herself, understandably so. i blame myself that I should have seen the future but i din't have a crystal ball but I should have.
20

Next post in 20s

Will redirect automatically

This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

More from 'Abuse' category

i had a friend, we just call her emmo, anyway, she was making out that she was married to her first ever man she had been with and led me to believe she had two sons to him. as time went on i noticed her doing weird things that didn't make sense. she was started show signs of forgetfulness and saying weird things to me. then one night she let it slip that her current man was not her original husband so she must have got divorced in a short time and never even told me about it, she would just say "i arranged a holiday for me and the family to go horse riding etc i have only ever been with one man" then it was like within 6 -9 months a complete change, her drinking late til all hours and hung over and saying stupid things to me, she asked me to put a few cupcakes together and i think she should have asked me to some beverages as well, i felt so used and hurt and all the time she knew that day of the fundraiser she was going to run late. she was crazy weird. then when she told me her current guy was not her first husband that shocked me it was like i felt she was playing some game and her current guy they were not married even. why would she get her ex-husbands nephew or cousin who was just a teenager of 12 or 14 to demand nude photos from me. i just felt so betrayed that all that time she was either lying and hated me and was back stabbing me and never even bothered to tell me she was getting a divorce til months later and suddenly had a new man called jock. it didn't make sense, she became snobby when she got a job working for a female naturapath doctor in reception work and she was putting down my study like "and what will that do for you?" and then going on about her course at e-trades and they don't even do nutrition they do business and i couldn't see her as a counsellor as she has obvious food and personality disorders her mother noticed. i think she has a psychotic history but was a wolf in sheep dress. what a back stabber to not even turn up and be 3 hours late for her fundraiser leaving us without any drinks on a hot day in the sun. i couldn't believe she do that to me. emmo hurt me so much, i never expected her to do that to me. something did not feel right and i had to drop out of her club because it changed concept and it was nicer when it first started. sometimes i miss emmo i thought she was a real friend but that year emmo and mareeanza both back stabbed me and desperato randal (or as i call her randy) she was asking me to her church and then cut me from behind with a knife stab in the back. everyone of my females friends i met within a year hurt me and cut me apart. and i had to tell them to stop abusing me and break up the friendships. what the hell is wrong with women and people in this world today.

i had a friend, we just call her emmo, anyway, she was making out that she was married to her first ...