"I am an obsessive compulsive liar, I stalk people over the Internet, I publish people's names and addresses on websites and then threaten to take them to court when they publish my phone number.Ã‚Â I am obsessed with Special Forces, and people who fly helicopters and profess to donate and raise money for charities, when I am in fact spending it on crack and White Lightning.Ã‚Â I live in a Seaside Town and sometimes sell my sorry arrse for money to buy more drugs when I can't fleece any more people for money.
Andy McNab is my best friend and I climbed Everest with him.Ã‚Â He needed help to get to the top, so I pushed my finger up his bum and he soon got there.Ã‚Â One day, I hope to jump off the bridge near Charnock Richard whilst tasting Sugar Puffs.
More from the category 'Animal abuse'
Confess your sins.
The only way to truely set you free is to tell the truth.