I happen to be Christian, but I haven't been for very long. I didn't believe in Christ six months ago. I get you, though. I've felt very alone during times in my life, but recently, I feel like... I don't even know how to describe it without sounding either creepy or corny... I feel like I'm in constant company. I started to ask God questions. For example, my mom's the one who got me going to church, and when we got there all I heard was ,"Accept Jesus into your heart. Empty yourself, so that you can be filled with The Lord." This still rubs me the wrong way. I'm only 18, but I've had a lot of issues that I've had to work through, and while I don't think I could have gotten this far without God's help, I know that I've worked hard to be the person I am today. So I asked God if being Christian meant losing yourself. My mom ended up wanting to visit the little Christian shop that they have set up just outside the church after the sermon was over, and while we were there I was "moved" to look through the books, and there I found a small book called "A Glimpse of Heaven", that was totally in the wrong section. It stood out though, so I grabbed it. It was a collaborative book with articles written by several big time authors and poets on the subject of heaven, and there I found an article by C. S. Lewis titled "Signature of the Soul". This is a quote from that (Wallah, the answer to my question): "I am considering not how, but why, He makes each soul unique. If He had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created more souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. The mould in which a key is made would be a strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house of many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you- you the individual reader..." I have few more stories like this one that I could tell, but this is already a pretty ginormous comment, so I think I'll cut myself off. Anyway, you should keep talking and asking, because you WILL get a response.

I happen to be Christian, but I haven't been for very long. I didn't believe in Christ six months ago. I get you, though. I've felt very alone during times in my life, but recently, I feel like... I don't even know how to describe it without sounding either creepy or corny... I feel like I'm in constant company. I started to ask God questions. For example, my mom's the one who got me going to church, and when we got there all I heard was ,"Accept Jesus into your heart. Empty yourself, so that you can be filled with The Lord." This still rubs me the wrong way. I'm only 18, but I've had a lot of issues that I've had to work through, and while I don't think I could have gotten this far without God's help, I know that I've worked hard to be the person I am today. So I asked God if being Christian meant losing yourself. My mom ended up wanting to visit the little Christian shop that they have set up just outside the church after the sermon was over, and while we were there I was "moved" to look through the books, and there I found a small book called "A Glimpse of Heaven", that was totally in the wrong section. It stood out though, so I grabbed it. It was a collaborative book with articles written by several big time authors and poets on the subject of heaven, and there I found an article by C. S. Lewis titled "Signature of the Soul". This is a quote from that (Wallah, the answer to my question): "I am considering not how, but why, He makes each soul unique. If He had no use for all these differences, I do not see why He should have created more souls than one. Be sure that the ins and outs of your individuality are no mystery to Him; and one day they will no longer be a mystery to you. The mould in which a key is made would be a strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house of many mansions. For it is not humanity in the abstract that is to be saved, but you- you the individual reader..." I have few more stories like this one that I could tell, but this is already a pretty ginormous comment, so I think I'll cut myself off. Anyway, you should keep talking and asking, because you WILL get a response.
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Who ever said u had to enjoy being a parent I'm 24. My son is 5. He's intriguing, speaks at most times well beyond his years. He's funny silly and I often see myself in him. I love him . BUT I F****** HATE being a mom. I can't name one joyous , pleasurable thing about it. I didn't have him for awhile, my mom did. While I was in college and just trying to figure s*** out but guilt used to eat me up like get your kid back. He annoys the s*** out of me. Like I hate doing stuff for him but he's well taken care of. I'm always yelling he doesn't listen and I feel like I'm just stuck doing something I never wanted to do. His dad isn't around that doesn't make the situation any better but it's way past Me being a single parent I just don't see anything praiseworthy about being a mom i absolutely despise it and never want to experience it again . There is something called b ataraxia that I think I relate to or have because I just recently found out about it and if I would have acknowledged the feelings of dislike that I've always had when I thought about having kids maybe I would have aborted him because I'm definitely not against abortion, definitely not. But I didn't and I regret not taking the situation more seriously when I found out I was pregnant I was so nonchalant I look back like you idiot what was wrong with you, you were 19 and found out you were pregnant why didn't you cry! Yell! Get mad!? Anything!!! But I didn't and that's why I'm here now. I wish I had the answer to why I feel this way it could fix it because he didn't ask to be here and sometimes I'm doing OK with it but other times I just shut myself out from everything and it's one of those days or weeks where I feel nothing but regret and sadness because I feel trapped being something I never wanted for myself.

Who ever said u had to enjoy being a parent I'm 24. My son is 5. He's intriguing, speaks at most tim...