surrounded by uncaring countryside on each side of the careening car windows seeing nothing but blurred trees which caused me to draw my cramped legs towards my chest as a fungus and the first breath of life was all I wanted to feel with the windows rolled down and deafening wind farts, other passengers. I spoiled my kids and now im regretting it big time. They are horrible rotten kids. I do love them but sometimes i wish i could start over and be a better parent. They fight all the time and tear things up in the house.I've literally just let out a fart that lasted 10seconds pluses Inhale that gas!!!! I love smelling my own farts !!!My pride makes me stay. If I leave I failed...I was not enough like he says. He is so angry all the time from gas and he is like a colic baby- which is my fault...For 2 weeks I have stopped doing everything I usually do.I'm tired and it is just buying me more time to leave- not changing anything yet. Watch- the demise of our relationship because of ME! two weeks in this croweded van, I feel like a failure.
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