"Riding in the backseat of your crowded car on the day I lost my compass surrounded by uncaring countryside on each side of the careening car windows seeing nothing but blurred trees which caused me to draw my cramped legs towards my chest as a fungus and the first breath of life was all I wanted to feel with the windows rolled down and deafening wind farts, other passengers. I spoiled my kids and now im regretting it big time. They are horrible rotten kids. I do love them but sometimes i wish i could start over and be a better parent. They fight all the time and tear things up in the house.I've literally just let out a fart that lasted 10seconds pluses Inhale that gas!!!! I love smelling my own farts !!!My pride makes me stay. If I leave I failed...I was not enough like he says. He is so angry all the time from gas and he is like a colic baby- which is my fault...For 2 weeks I have stopped doing everything I usually do.I'm tired and it is just buying me more time to leave- not changing anything yet. Watch- the demise of our relationship because of ME! two weeks in this croweded van, I feel like a failure. "