By Anonymous on General,

"thank you for prayers . It sounds nice but I will be honest with you, we can't afford so much. we are currently just struggling to live and survive from fortnight to fortnight on disability pension and no job in sight since part time work in 2009 for me and there has been NO FULL TIME EMPLOYMENT IN THIS HOUSE HOLD FOR THE LAST 40 YEARS. SO I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I GAVE THAT SOME DEEP CONSIDERATION AND ALL THE STUDY I HAVE DONE AND PART TIME JOBS BUT NOTHING TO GIVE ME A LIVING AND MAKE A BETTER LIFE REALLY SAYS SOMETHING AND THE MAGNITUDE OF THAT REALIZATION REALLY ROCKS ME, WE LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT HAS NO STOVE, NO OVEN, AND VERY OLD AND RUN DOWN AND WE ALL HAD CANCER AND ILLNESSES OF ALL KINDS AND WE ARE WORN OUT AND NO HOPE IN SIGHT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD ENOUGH FOR WORK OR RELATIONSHIPS AND I AM SO TIRED OF BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST. WE ARE POOR WITH NO SUPERANNUATION EVER, NO SAVINGS AND I WAS EXPECTING A BETTER LIFE THAN THIS AS YOU CAN IMAGINE ? HOW WOULD YOU TOLERATE THIS PLIGHT YOURSELF? i AM JUST A STUPID HONEST CHRISTEN WHITE WOMEN WHO DOESN'T NIGHT CLUB AND DOESN'T DRINK AND WE LIVE AN EXTREME RIDGED CONSERVATIVE LIFESTYLE FOR SO LONG. . I wish I could afford it but no, I can't. I can't even afford to fix the house or my health or a good holiday, never been overseas, never been married, never felt valued or appreciated ever. Never afforded what others take for grated. the only silver lining I can see from this is that someone once said to me the devil looks after his own, well no devil looks after me, so I must not be one of his, right given my regular circumstances. it worries me that yeh, I do like material things sure and I wish I had that and more intangible valuable things. I have never had a long friendship. Always friendships fail over men. I have had some nice intangible gifts come to me like anna maria taking me to mid night mass. that was just so nice of her, then she just disappeared. I hope to have friendships and love as much as wealth and health and prosperity. At least I am living actively grateful each day for what I do have like basic things like being able to breathe and see the beauty, adding beauty to my world with nature occasional, but as far as relationships go I have failed probably based on others crazy advice. It didn't make sense to me for people at support group to say rubbish like "just because a guy is married doesn't mean he isn't right for you" what brainwashing right. My doctor and therapist is just horrified by that support groups abuse. living happy with nothing because I have been all along anyway. And I am sorry to say lady bitch diana and her mongrel kids. that;s right i am walking away from everyone and everything because good god I am gonna find a better day.That's right I have been walking away for over 20 years now. I could have been happy if rick had not abused me, he was my one more chance and I could have been happy getting a few baby bonuses and married some guy but no one worth it came along, ken couldn't live up. the uk royals will never understand child sexual abuse and I would never turn to them or idiots ever again. I saved the best of me for me and my cats, and not for another person. No one will ever touch me more then my cats !!!!! "

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