my uncle used to rape me when i was a child and i couldn’t tell anybody because i was afraid

now i’m a grown up woman and i’m married to a very good man but i still feel a pain inside me whenever i remember what my uncle used to do to me

my uncle passed away several months ago but i still feel afraid and i hate him so much

i know hate is not good and i have to forget and let go but i can’t

sometimes i dream that i’m stabbing him with a knife and i wake up screaming