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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Anger, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Drugs, Fraud, Gay, Ignoring privacy, Masturbation, Prostitution, Religion based, Sex, Sloth, Stupidity, Vandalism, Violence, @ December 20th, 2009

I’ve taken a puff of marijuana and some hashish I masturbate. I

I’ve taken a puff of marijuana and some hashish
I masturbate. I drink whenever I can.
I like a guy to sleep each night you make love.
I envy my friends that have boyfriends and I do not.
Tion that we do have a boyfriend and sex.
I HAVE to masturbate to 3 types I have put off BY THE WEB CAM.
MIND AND consistently lie.
snuff


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Being a bum, Being a country singer, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Children abuse, Covetousness, Dealing and selling drugs, Death, Didnt forgive, Divorce, Drugs, Embarrassing, Envy, Fight, Forbidden Fetish, Fraud, Gay, General, Genocide, Gluttony, Hacking, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Making someone Uncomfortable, Marriage, Masturbation, Murder, Pedophile, Peeing in someones yard, Pimping, Prejudice, Pride, Prostitution, Questioning God, Rape, Religion based, Roadkill, Sex, Sloth, Spilling a drink, Stealing, Stupidity, Treason, Vandalism, Violence, Worship satan, @ December 3rd, 2009

I’m sorry…. kinda.

I’m sorry…. kinda.


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Ignoring privacy, @ October 13th, 2009

I have confused the name of a fiend

I have confused the name of a fiend


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Ignoring privacy, @ October 13th, 2009

I want to be slim

I want to be slim


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Ignoring privacy, @ September 22nd, 2009

张旭东,还记得我吗?我依然喜欢你的微笑。。。

张旭东,还记得我吗?我依然喜欢你的微笑。。。


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Ignoring privacy, @ September 16th, 2009

hihi

hihi


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Anger, Blasphemy, Embarrassing, General, Gluttony, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Lie, Lose of faith, Masturbation, Sex, @ June 15th, 2009

spy, angry, jelousy, sex, lost the faith on my love

spy, angry, jelousy, sex, lost the faith on my love


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Ignoring privacy, @ June 1st, 2009

I ditiched one of my friend, wendy because she kept on

I ditiched one of my friend, wendy because she kept on lying to me about really rediculous things, and she was always trying to get other’s attention. She then went to hang out with another friend of mine. Wendy gossiped about me to her friends, and made me sound like a bitch. I was really pissed off, so i told her crush that she loves him, and I also said a lot of naughsty things about her to my other friends (those things are all true.)
I did not feel sorry for her until she had to spend her lunchtime in the library all alone because she got ditched.


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Children abuse, Embarrassing, Ignoring privacy, Making someone Uncomfortable, @ April 1st, 2009

I live with Carlo and Reba since I was 4 years

I live with Carlo and Reba since I was 4 years old. I am 13 now and thier 2 kids are Nilsa who is 9 and Julio who is 11. When any of us get in trouble or are bad we get spanked. As long as I can remember they always made us get naked before they spanked us. They both speak english good but when carlo hollars at us he always speaks spanish. Carlo is my mothers cousin and my godfather. They spank us naked in front of each other most of the time. They even spank us like that in front of other relitives sometimes. When Carlo drinks a lot he spanks us for little things we do. He spanked Nilsa last week in front of me and Julio. He made her take all her clothes off in the kitchen and spanked her very hard. I know she was embarresed but not as much as i am becuse she doesn’t hve any breasts yet. I don’t think it is fair that i am spanked naked and think i am to old now for them to do that to me. i am always and always was shamed when i am spanked naked in front of Nilsa and Julio but many time was spanked that way in front of uncles and other cousins. I have seen Julio and Nilsa spanked naked many times and they have seen me naked and spanked many times. I have thought aboutrunning away but have nowhere to go. I try to be good all the time but sometimes i get in trouble and get spanked when i do. Carlo spanks us more than Reba does and hits us much longer and harder and both of them make us get naked. I have breasts now and hair growing and am so embarresed when I get spanked i just want to die somtimes. They don’t understand how shameful it is for me now. it was even bad when i was littleler. I have begged them not to make me get naked but they just call me a kid. They don’t care who is watching and don’t know how it makes me upset. When Carlo drinks a lot it is even worse and he gets real mean with us. Three weeks ago i failed an algebra test very bad. Carlo got home late that day and it was after 8 oclock when Nilsa came in my room and said her dad wants me in the kitchen. When i got to the kitchen he was already hollaring at me in spanish. I knew he was drinking a lot as soon as i walked in the kitchen. I knew I was going to get spanked but when I looked around the room Reba, Nilsa and Julio were there but I never expected Rebas brother Hecter and his son Juan to be there. Jaun is the same age as Nilsa so I think he is 9 or 10. Carlo took off his belt and told me to take my clothes off as he just kept hollaring at me. I just stated crying and was trembling and shaking at the thought of being naked in front of all of them. Hecter had seen me naked one other time but i know Jaun never did. I was so scared I couldn’t move and as he hollared at me he grabbed my hair and started pulling up my night shirt. When it was off and on the floor he held my hair and made me take off my panties. I was so shamed i just kept crying and he pulled me over his lap by my hair. I was almost out of my mind when he started spanking me with his hand i started to kick and scream. Reba got up and held my legs and I could see everyone looking at me. I was wiggleing so much my head was almost on the floor and he began to spank me with the belt. The pain was so bad i know i was screaming and begging him not to hit me anymore. When he finally stopped he just pushed me on the floor. I just layed there for a minute and could see Juan, Hecter and Julio looking at my breasts and vagina and god knows what else they saw when i was on Carlos lap. My whole face was wet with tears and when i got up i started for the steps but Carlo again grabbed my hair and started to hoolar at me in spanish again. I just stood their as he held my hair trying to cover myself with my hands. I could see Nilsa felt sorry for me by the sad look on her face but Juan, Hecter and even Julio were smiling and even laughing at me. When he let me go i started to run to the steps but Carlo made me come back and pick up my nightshirt and panties off the floor then I just ran as fast as I could to my room. A few days later I sat and talked to Carlo and Reba and Carlo wasn’t drinking. I pleaded and begged them not to ever do that to me again in front of people. I told them how much they shamed me doing that and they finally promised only to spank me in private from now on. I just hope Carlo isn’t lying to me and keeps his word. I am xtra carful to stay out of trouble and am studying harder everynight now and do all my homework.


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Hacking, Ignoring privacy, Lie, @ March 10th, 2009

Please forgive me for secretly steeling you password and reading you

Please forgive me for secretly steeling you password and reading you emails and snooping around your facebook account


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (1 votes, average: 10.00 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Being a bum, Being a country singer, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Covetousness, Dealing and selling drugs, Death, Divorce, Forbidden Fetish, Fraud, Gay, General, Genocide, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, @ January 25th, 2009

I feel sleepy now, and i want to go to bed

I feel sleepy now, and i want to go to bed


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Assault, Forbidden Fetish, Ignoring privacy, Incest, Masturbation, @ January 10th, 2009

I really want to fuck my sister. She’s got big tits

I really want to fuck my sister. She’s got big tits and always wears shirts that show them off. So at night i go into her room while she’s sleeping, lift her shirt and bra up over her tits and jerk off until i unload either on her tits or on her face. Cleaning it up can be tricky though.

Also, in the morning i always pull my covers off and when she wakes up she walks by. I sleep nude and i always have an erection in the morning so i make sure she see’s just how big and thick my dick is. My hope is that she’ll be horny one morning and decide to start sucking my cock as i’m waking up.


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Ignoring privacy, @ December 17th, 2008

My neice, Sally, who is my wife’s older sister’s daughter has

My neice, Sally, who is my wife’s older sister’s daughter has lived with us since she was 5. We have no children of our own a she considers us her parents. Over the last 8 years she has never been shy about me or my wife seeing her undressed or naked. I have spanked her a few times over the years on her bare bottom. I have also given her an enema 3 or 4 times over the years, the most recent was last year. Now that she has developed she doesn’t realize how much I admire her body and admit she excites me. I would never abuse her but do take advantage of seeing her naked. Sally thinks nothing of me coming into the bathroom as she showers. I go in with some dumb excuss and just watch her and even talk to her. Sometimes she comes down to the kitcken just in bra and panties even when my wife is home. My wife seems to have no reaction to her doing this and I try to act uninterested although on many ocassions I have been aroused by it. If my wife out of the house I even go around the house in my underware in front of Sally. I think I started to do this so she would be encouraged to do it also. She has seen me naked but not very often and she has walked into the bathroom on me also a number of times. It doesn’t seem to bother her but I do notice her glancing at my penis when she does. Sometimes I just stand outside her bedrrom or bathroom door talking to her and open it just enough to watch her bath or undress. I don’t think she comprehends what I am doing and know she is unaware of how she arouses me. Many times I have masturbated after seeing her and frequently masturbate while watching her outside the door. A few months ago I picked up Sally after her field hockey game and took her home. She went up to shower I told her I would make her a sandwich. She didn’tcome down for a long time so I went up to her room to tell her to come eat. When I opened the door to her room she was sound asleep with just a towel around her. I gently pulled the towel away and she was flat on her back naked. I never touched her but wanted to, but just stood there looking at her. I even took her ankles and slowly pulled her legs apart to see her better. I must have stood looking at her for at least 10 or 15 minutes with an erection. I finally put the towel back over her and went to the bathroom to masturbate. Knowing what i’m doing is wrong, I just can’t help it. I even think about her sometimes when having sex with my wife. I do feel guilty about it but still take advantage of watching her every chance I get.


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Being a bum, Being a country singer, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Children abuse, Covetousness, Dealing and selling drugs, Death, Didnt forgive, Divorce, Drugs, Embarrassing, Fraud, General, Genocide, Gluttony, Hacking, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Making someone Uncomfortable, Marriage, Masturbation, Murder, Pedophile, Peeing in someones yard, Pimping, Prejudice, Pride, Prostitution, Questioning God, Rape, Religion based, Roadkill, Sex, Sloth, Spilling a drink, Stealing, Stupidity, Treason, Vandalism, Violence, @ October 28th, 2008

Me olvide de poner las “;” al final de todas las

Me olvide de poner las “;” al final de todas las sentencias en el proyecto de mi examen, espero san google me perdone


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (5 votes, average: 7.20 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Children abuse, Covetousness, Dealing and selling drugs, Death, Didnt forgive, Divorce, Drugs, Embarrassing, Envy, Fight, Fraud, General, Genocide, Gluttony, Hacking, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Questioning God, Spilling a drink, Stealing, @ October 28th, 2008

sdd

sdd


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Being a bum, Being a country singer, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Death, Embarrassing, Envy, Forbidden Fetish, Gay, General, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, Lose of faith, Religion based, Sex, Violence, @ August 26th, 2008

estoy muy arrepentido deje que mi novia abortara

estoy muy arrepentido deje que mi novia abortara


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (11 votes, average: 3.82 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Being drunk, Burglary, Covetousness, Didnt forgive, Embarrassing, Envy, Fight, Forbidden Fetish, Fraud, General, Gluttony, Hate, Ignoring privacy, Incest, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Pimping, Pride, Sex, Stupidity, Vandalism, Worship satan, @ August 17th, 2008

i’ve done many bad things, and i’m repentant, i hope than

i’ve done many bad things, and i’m repentant, i hope than you escueseme! thanks


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Anger, Being a bum, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Dealing and selling drugs, Didnt forgive, Drugs, Embarrassing, Envy, Forbidden Fetish, General, Gluttony, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Making someone Uncomfortable, Masturbation, Peeing in someones yard, Prejudice, Prostitution, Questioning God, Sex, Spilling a drink, Stupidity, Vandalism, Worship satan, @ August 10th, 2008

Every tag i wrote. Im watching porn right now.

Every tag i wrote. Im watching porn right now.


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Fight, Ignoring privacy, Lie, @ July 18th, 2008

im in a gang

im in a gang


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Demonic Trainer250 Confessed on  Embarrassing, General, Ignoring privacy, Making someone Uncomfortable, Masturbation, Pimping, Sex, @ July 16th, 2008

I post naked pictures of my with on line with her

I post naked pictures of my with on line with her face showing.


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Ignoring privacy, Lie, Love, @ July 14th, 2008

I’m secretly in love with one of my best friends and

I’m secretly in love with one of my best friends and I never told her, She left her laptop once overnight and I looked at her chat logs with other people. And every time the issue of feelings come up I lie to her and I pretend that I never thought about her. She asked me once if I ever had a dirty thought about her and I lied because she wouldn’t be comfortable around me if I said yes but I have those thoughts of her everyday


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (4 votes, average: 8.75 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Being a bum, Being a country singer, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Children abuse, Covetousness, Dealing and selling drugs, Death, Didnt forgive, Divorce, Drugs, Embarrassing, Envy, Fight, Forbidden Fetish, Fraud, Gay, General, Genocide, Gluttony, Hacking, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Making someone Uncomfortable, Marriage, Masturbation, Murder, Pedophile, Peeing in someones yard, Pimping, Prejudice, Pride, Prostitution, Questioning God, Rape, Religion based, Roadkill, Sex, Sloth, Spilling a drink, Stealing, Stupidity, Treason, Vandalism, Violence, Worship satan, @ July 11th, 2008

This is a test. I did not do anything mentioned in

This is a test. I did not do anything mentioned in this message.


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  General, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, @ July 11th, 2008

I dl to much illegal crap… and i guess i cuss

I dl to much illegal crap… and i guess i cuss to much


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (4 votes, average: 9.25 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Being a bum, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Covetousness, Death, Didnt forgive, Divorce, Embarrassing, Envy, Fight, Gay, General, Gluttony, Hacking, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Making someone Uncomfortable, Marriage, Masturbation, Murder, Peeing in someones yard, Pride, Religion based, Sex, Spilling a drink, Stealing, Stupidity, Violence, @ July 11th, 2008

I wasted my life. Going in circles, always trying to

I wasted my life. Going in circles, always trying to do the right thing but it ends up wrong. Now it is too late.


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (19 votes, average: 7.37 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Didnt forgive, Ignoring privacy, Love, @ July 11th, 2008

I broke up my girlfriend who I used to go out

I broke up my girlfriend who I used to go out with almost a year, not because I don’t love her anymore but because I can’t tolerate her taking up all my free time since we had started dating each other, at which I would like to have some space for myself.

And a month ago she told me that she’s falling for a guy, I’m starting to regret that I didn’t try enough to make her understand of my situation.

But it’s a little too late….


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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Adultery, Anger, Didnt forgive, Envy, Fraud, Hacking, Ignoring privacy, Lie, Sex, @ July 10th, 2008

I lied to my girlfriend that I’m divorced when I’m actually

I lied to my girlfriend that I’m divorced when I’m actually only separated. Then I hacked into her email and got jealous that she likes to sleep over at her guy friends’ places. So I went and had sex with my ex-girlfriend, who knows I’m only separated, and kept seeing the current gf. Then I dumped the current gf telling her that she’s an attention seeking whore.


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Being a bum, Being a country singer, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Children abuse, Covetousness, Dealing and selling drugs, Death, Didnt forgive, Divorce, Drugs, Embarrassing, Envy, Fight, Forbidden Fetish, Fraud, Gay, General, Genocide, Gluttony, Hacking, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Making someone Uncomfortable, Marriage, Masturbation, Murder, Pedophile, Peeing in someones yard, Pimping, Prejudice, Pride, Prostitution, Questioning God, Rape, Religion based, Roadkill, Sex, Sloth, Spilling a drink, Stealing, Stupidity, Treason, Vandalism, Violence, Worship satan, @ July 10th, 2008

I had sex with my wife before I married her, and

I had sex with my wife before I married her, and I beat up the woman I was having an affair with and her dog out of anger. Afterwards I went back to my spot on the curb behind the 7-11, drunk, playing country music hoping for change. I started taking the Lord’s name in vain against this man who didn’t give me change, and I beat up his kid. He didn’t do anything, and was worried his wife might find out, who was still in the car. I said I wouldn’t tell if he paid me. And he did. So when his wife came out, she was stunning and I wanted her. Instead, I stole from her. Surprisingly, she had cocaine on her. I started selling it once she was gone, but one guy didn’t pay so I chased after him and killed him. I had no intention of forgiving him. My wife found me doing this and promptly divorced me. So out of envy (I still wanted her for my own), I pantsed her in front of everyone! That turned me on somehow. Pants around the ankles. I bought a lot of stuff online using fake credit card numbers, then went to the gay bar and had quite the time. I realized I hated everyone in Uganda and I wanted their food, so I killed every last one of them. After that I hacked into an ATM with illegal software and got a lot of money. I went to my sister’s home, and noticed she was in the shower. So I walked right in and had sex with her, forcefully. I lied and said I was still married to make it feel more exciting. Needless to say, she was very uncomfortable, but I loved her. At that point I started to lose faith in God and still felt horny, so I jacked off. However, I looked in my neighbor’s yard and saw a little girl. So I went over and had sex with her, after peeing on their lawn. Then my hoes (you know, hookers) saw some gays and even though I had a little stint I hated them all and thought they were all horrible people who couldn’t talk normally. I asked God, “what kind of cruel God would allow such horrible people in our world?” So I ran over a squirrel and proudly displayed it to everyone as my new God. I spilled a drink, but I was too lazy to clean it up. I flipped on “Jeopardy!” but I couldn’t get any answers right because I was too stupid, so in the name of Satan I began trashing the house. I found some TOP SECRET documents by chance while doing so, and in spite I turned it over to the French.


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (39 votes, average: 4.87 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Being a bum, Being a country singer, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Children abuse, Covetousness, Dealing and selling drugs, Death, Didnt forgive, Divorce, Drugs, Embarrassing, Envy, Fight, Forbidden Fetish, Fraud, Gay, General, Genocide, Gluttony, Hacking, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Making someone Uncomfortable, Marriage, Masturbation, Murder, Pedophile, Peeing in someones yard, Pimping, Prejudice, Pride, Prostitution, Questioning God, Rape, Religion based, Roadkill, Sex, Sloth, Spilling a drink, Stealing, Stupidity, Treason, Vandalism, Violence, Worship satan, @ July 10th, 2008

I can’t say. The world would blow up.

I can’t say. The world would blow up.


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (5 votes, average: 4.60 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Blasphemy, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Lie, Love, Masturbation, Prejudice, Pride, Questioning God, Religion based, Sex, Spilling a drink, Stealing, Stupidity, Violence, @ July 10th, 2008

Confession confession

Confession confession


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (6 votes, average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Someone Anonymous Confessed on  Abuse, Adultery, Anger, Animal abuse, Assault, Being a bum, Being a country singer, Being drunk, Blasphemy, Bribe, Burglary, Children abuse, Covetousness, Dealing and selling drugs, Death, Didnt forgive, Divorce, Drugs, Embarrassing, Envy, Fight, Forbidden Fetish, Fraud, Gay, General, Genocide, Gluttony, Hacking, Hate, Having sex befor the wedding, Ignoring privacy, Ilegal software, Incest, Lechery, Lie, Lose of faith, Love, Making someone Uncomfortable, Marriage, Masturbation, Murder, Pedophile, Peeing in someones yard, Pimping, Prejudice, Prostitution, Rape, Religion based, Roadkill, Sex, Sloth, Spilling a drink, Stealing, Stupidity, Treason, Vandalism, Violence, Worship satan, @ July 10th, 2008

I had sex with my wife before I married her, and

I had sex with my wife before I married her, and I beat up the woman I was having an affair with and her dog out of anger. Afterwards I went back to my spot on the curb behind the 7-11, drunk, playing country music hoping for change. I started taking the Lord’s name in vain against this man who didn’t give me change, and I beat up his kid. He didn’t do anything, and was worried his wife might find out, who was still in the car. I said I wouldn’t tell if he paid me. And he did. So when his wife came out, she was stunning and I wanted her. Instead, I stole from her. Surprisingly, she had cocaine on her. I started selling it once she was gone, but one guy didn’t pay so I chased after him and killed him. I had no intention of forgiving him. My wife found me doing this and promptly divorced me. So out of envy (I still wanted her for my own), I pantsed her in front of everyone! That turned me on somehow. Pants around the ankles. I bought a lot of stuff online using fake credit card numbers, then went to the gay bar and had quite the time. I realized I hated everyone in Uganda and I wanted their food, so I killed every last one of them. After that I hacked into an ATM with illegal software and got a lot of money. I went to my sister’s home, and noticed she was in the shower. So I walked right in and had sex with her, forcefully. I lied and said I was still married to make it feel more exciting. Needless to say, she was very uncomfortable, but I loved her. At that point I started to lose faith in God and still felt horny, so I jacked off. However, I looked in my neighbor’s yard and saw a little girl. So I went over and had sex with her, after peeing on their lawn. Then my hoes (you know, hookers) saw some gays and even though I had a little stint I hated them all and thought they were all horrible people who couldn’t talk normally. I asked God, “what kind of cruel God would allow such horrible people in our world?” So I ran over a squirrel and proudly displayed it to everyone as my new God. I spilled a drink, but I was too lazy to clean it up. I flipped on “Jeopardy!” but I couldn’t get any answers right because I was too stupid, so in the name of Satan I began trashing the house. I found some TOP SECRET documents by chance while doing so, and in spite I turned it over to the French.


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