When I was about 7 years old my best friend was my next door neighbor, he was like a year younger than me. One day my oldest brother thought it would be funny to make the two of us fight. I remember my friend, with tears in his eyes and blood in his mouth getting really frustrated and breaking down crying. I have always felt horrible about it, I still know what that really low feeling was like. I cannot forgive my brother over 25 years later, I have always hated him for it, though we never talk about it. I never wanted to hurt my friend and to this day I still cringe. Thats why I am here i really wanted to get this off my chest. I know it sounds stupid but I have felt very guilty about it for years and on the surface, I know its not my fault. Whenit comes to fighting to this day I am a pussy, i have never wanted to hurt anyone again, i always get that dreaded feeling like i did back in those days, seeing him scream and it was all my fault. I tried martial arts and boxing and wrestling, I couldbe good but I jsut get this mental blockl and I will not fight even when I should, I always get that damned feeling again! We moved away shortly after those fights my brother used to set up and we were never really good friends after that. I just wanted to get this off my chest and I really am sorry even though its not my fault