"Okay so um to everyone who might read this and wants a good story then read this. What I’m looking for is comments/advice. Thank you!
So I’m a freshman in a pretty academically tough high school. I was expecting freshman year to be a blast, but I was so terribly wrong.
Now, in this school, everyone is new to each other which means you don’t know anyone and no one knows you. Clean slate. Whoever you were back in middle school, has nothing to do with you anymore. Okay so anyway, I was a big nerd in middle school so I wanted to be cool and popular and all that jazz. And so i did become popular. And what comes with popularity? Guys.
I met this guy and I thought he was so sweet and stuff so we started dating after the first month of high school. In middle school, I had no experience with guys and never had a fight with my friends so I didn’t know anything about consequences or the bad side in people. Fast forward a couple weeks, I realize he’s a douchebag and things weren’t working out so I broke up with him. My boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him got around the entire school so everyone (even people I didn’t know) knew my name and they said some not very good things about me. But, I didn’t really care because I was me and I didn’t care what others thought about me.
So a month later, I meet this really hot and funny guy. We were talking for a couple weeks and then came a party where he hooked up and it was my first kiss. Of course, this got around the ENTIRE SCHOOL and I was called a hoe. I didn’t know about this until way later. So then, i’ve just had my first hook up and my body was craving for more so we developed a fwb relationship. Yes i know, these relationships never end well and I started to develop feelings for him. I decided to end it because I was wasting my time thinking about him and I just didn’t want to get involved with him any longer.
So in the time span of a couple months after that, I was doing alright. I was just trying to figure out who my true friends were and struggling with that. And in the meantime, people were calling me very bad names. Let me name a few: bitch, hoe, slut, etc.
After a couple months, I meet this cute guy (let’s substitute his name with T) who’s not in my grade (older). And we were talking for a bit and I finally break it to him that I like him. He tells me that he likes me too and i’m like AWESOME WHOO I DID IT! Right? Of course, the answer is NO! His best friend, (let’s just have his name as U) told me that T’s friends were telling him to play with me and toy with my heart because i was “such a hoe”. Plus, T was going around and making bets with everyone that he could “win me over”. So U tells me this and I confront T, and he lies and tells me that everything I heard wasn’t true and U and T get into a big fight. So then U and I become best friends and i’m very happy because I didn’t have such a close friend. I told him everything about me and what I was feelings, etc.
Things were going okay until this other guy rolls around and he and i talk for a while and we even cuddle. Next day, barely even looks at me, talks to me, etc. Now, I’m like what in the world happened? So U tells me that he did that by mistake and he really “didn’t mean it” and that he’s sorry. Okay well, I was eh about it. I was kinda hurt but I tried to get over it. But then all of a sudden, my best friend U, cuts off ALL CONTACT WITH ME. Blocks me on social media, avoids me at school, doesn’t even talk to me, and more. So I’m horribly devastated. I thought I finally found my best friend and he just leaves me like nothing ever happened between us. I’m crying my ass off and it looks like he doesn’t care about me. I plead with him to just talk to me, just to acknowledge me and he never replies..
So I tell myself, you know what, guys are idiots just don’t talk to them anymore. So I decide not to. After maybe a couple months I find my best friends and I’m having somewhat of a good time. I’m having good time in terms of my friends but not so good time with my reputation. People were calling me, again, slut, bitch, hoe, etc. more than ever. But because i decided to lie low, it got better. And I’m not meaning to brag but I am a very good person. I have given people second chances when they sure as hell don’t deserve it. Because that’s what good people do, give others a chance. During this time, U wants forgiveness and I give it to him.
Okay so just recently, this really hot guy DM’s me and says he just wants to talk. I’m extremely suspicious but i decide to give it a try. We talk, and it turns out he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. He was so genuine and so sweet and pretty soon, he asked me out on a date. So we postpone the date because we were both extremely busy for finals and stuff (he’s a junior, rising senior now). And we hook up a couple times and then I sense something off. We used to be texting lovey dovey but then it started to decrease. I assumed it was because of the workload we both had, but there had to be another reason. Also, when we met up in person, all he wanted to do was hook up and not talk. So I was getting mad suspicious. Finally, it happened. He texts me one day and asks “can we not go to the movies because i’m busy with college stuff and I don’t want a time commitment thing right now” Guess what I replied? I was getting stronger and better with myself so I told him, “if you just want a hook up girl, then I’m not the right girl for you sorry”. He says okay i just don’t want a commitment thing and I just say, mhm okay. Btw, no one except for like 10 people in total knew about our relationship. We didn’t want it getting around, so we kept it low and told very very few people. I’m so glad we did, because no one can judge me or call me bad names.
So that was my life, there have been more incidents but those were with girls. This was purely guy problems. Throughout this year I have learned a lot about myself. I learned that 1)most guys will look for the same thing: a girl to hook up with. So i’ have to be extremely careful. 2) don’t tell people things. It only makes the situation worse. 3) you have to fucking love yourself, because honestly you don’t need anyone else’s love except for yours. I hated myself for a while but i”m so proud of myself and how even through all of those experiences, I am still here and standing. I am still the kind girl I’ve always wanted to be and nothing can stop me now.
Now, it’s your turn. Do you have any comments to relate, or vent about? Do you have any advice for me?"