"I am truly an awful parent
I dreamed about being a parent. I prayed for it. And we adopted. I didn't get knocked up and poof - there was a kid. We went through months of background checks and interviews and the cost and drama of adoption. You have to be REALLY wanting to do that, right?
Well I suck at being a parent. My kid is almost out of the house and we scream. My kid is a better adult than I. They try to discuss and I just stew and vent. I get upset with EVERY THING they do. I see spoiled, my spouse sees a kid in need. I see a back talker, my spouse sees a kid expressing themselves. I see an utter lack of empathy and discipline, and I'm told I'm the problem.
So clearly, I am. What to do? No I'm not willing to do therapy and being told that I need to give into the kid ... again. No, I'm not willing to just see it through for a bit longer. Yep, before the 1st I'm I'm going to move out. Because I truly suck. I cannot believe that almost 18 years trying and I'm done. But truly, I'm DONE. And that makes me sad, and ashamed, and ready to just disappear."