"confession about my pain
Reaching to the keyboard hurts to type this. I'm only 22 yet I've experienced chronic pain the last 2 and a half years. I try to get around it and it's only recently gotten so bad as to need to be known by my friends. I tried neglecting that pain tonight for the sake of a girl I'm absolutely enchanted by for another confession's worth of reasons. I am now in miserable agony, and I have no one but myself to blame, but do feel somewhat bitter since I was very upfront about the risk of doing this.
I am absolutely not worse off than countless others, yet every day I have a moment where I can't help but be totally overwhelmed by how much pain (physical and increasingly emotional) I'm suffering through. The worst part of the night, was after saying the typical "I'm sorry I made your night less enjoyable," the people I was with, including the girl, all said "Noooo, it's fine." They were all lying, to me, to themselves, and it just disgusts me that we're so deluded and complex creatures that it's hardwired into our brains to lie to "friends" for the sake of making them feel better when it's never better to be lied to. That's enough for now."