doctors have already told me it might not be possible for me to have a...

baby normally due to the surgery and scars from the auto-immune disorder and that sex might be difficult as well due to bleeding and skin so fragile it tears, but my mother said she had my brother and she knows she had the problem before I was born. my sister has it also. I bet most of the family do. I do understand why so many women in my mothers family had hysterectomies young and I considered it. even without children. I mean basically doctors told me not to even try or I would suffer the consquences to have a baby or even sex. I mean it makes you feel awful when I wanted to be a mother and have a baby of my own, I think having the baby yourself is important otherwise it doesn't feel like yours. I know I could adopt but I can't afford that or eggs frozen. I don't have the money for that. I am just angry that certain people have been allowed to abuse me and get away with killing my dreams of my life of marriage, education and career and I have no love life and no sex life. that offends me and it should offend all women what I am going through. joyce and ken and rick are to blame for all this. you know rick even had the hide to say to me I was over -re acting cheering him at the fundraiser and I was showing off and prick teasing men from day 1 and I told my auntie this and she said "what a load of rubbish" then there was men with this "oh don't touch me I am too clean for you and you are dirty" game they played it all shut me down, especially after ken said he wanted to tie me to the bed and rape me, I felt like "what person am I with here, I want to get away from this idiot" and then frank- I wish I had pushed frank more but he was like so wishy washy and then dogmatic and weird. One doctor said that I most likely have endometriosis and never been diagnosed. The problems have been with UTI a lot and the doctor said that the auto-immune disorder has spread to the u/tract area and also that because of vaginal canal bleeding every pap smear makes them worried that I could develop cancer. So I have to see a specialist and do more tests. i wanted to be a mother so much. just like I wanted to be a lawyer so much and I feel so hurt and let down by everyone around me. you don't think I won't make you pay for it somehow , because I will, but I am not bitter, I met more bitter men and young people then me and I guess when I know god is on my side then I know certain people will pay for what they did to me. ALL OF THEM WILL PAY I WAS TOLD BY THE CHURCH!

By Anonymous on General,