i can't think about death, I won't listen to talk about people dead on tv...

and I just walk away. I can't cope with it. people can't cope and help me so I can't help and cope with others. its as simple as that. spent all my life being there as a strength for others mind always alert to emergency health issues and all my mother can do is hell at me ever since the car accident I complain about chest pain. she yells and gets angry at me or she will sleep sound as a baby - its happy its got her daughters life fucked up and messed up don't worry, I wake in pain and she doesn't want to know about it. I am a burden to her with my health and pain and she attacks me for being ill or in pain. only she can get sick. not me. I have no rights to be loved, have a baby, have a husband I love, a job, a house of my own, so she can relive her youth and its driving me insane. I don't know why I am being forced to suffer this out. I don't want to live out my diary I wrote 25 years ago. I shouldn't have to wait for my parents to die before I am good enough for a white man to marry me. i am sick of this. my family are killing me. my neighbors are killing me. everyone is killing me by not allowing me my life! a job a husband a house of my own, friends. I am sick of haivng to be last on the list to make everyone else feel better when I am more deserving then them.

By Anonymous on General,