and eventually it went away and now i only get those things at rare mild occasions. but I still feel a compulsion sometimes to tell people to "F off" I feel bad about this because I think its not right to do that but it feels good when I do assert myself at a strong level and one counsellor told me to and she said "that was very brave of you to stand up to someone who was not treating you right , good on you! I am proud you had the strength to make them understand what's important to you"
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