to the post- I adore women who have their kids young I don't know why,I just find that to be so sexy:)my mother usually refers to those types of women as women whose horse is greater then the rider, ie, their sexual impulses control them rather then their intellect. so my mother always taught me to have a strong rider mind and also that it was breaking the catholic faith to have children out of wedlock and that was a sin to do that. my mother always taught me that you only ever give yourself to a man once really, meaning as in virginity was a blessed thing to give and that multiple marriages was a sign of mental illness and personal instability and after I was raped while still a virgin, this upset my whole family badly cuzing my father so much anger he turned to alcohol and won't speak to people and my mother was horrified that such a social group would allow it to happen. because it caused me internal injuries and depression and neglect from other men I wanted and prefered the company of and my parents did not approve of the man who raped me and neither did I and we still stand by our values strong. one day the legal and medical people and those who wronged me god is going to punish them just like the people who caused my illnesses at other times just bc we live in a bad world does not mean we should lower ourselves to it but the wicked of the world are winning. its a wicked world we live in now. where the wicked and reptilian minds (that is the small old part of the brain that just rages and impulsive on sexual rampages and has no self order and control and quick to anger and flight or fight cuz they don't learn higher thinking skills) are working over time then the people with more mental faculties. nothing more sexy about young women fucking and having children some men find older women having children a more sensual mature erotic candor. young girls/ children today think they are adults with adult privileges at the age of the pre-teen movement of -711 and 12 are the shakers of the world, and that is a shame, majority of age was once a prized thing like virginity and also marriage and virtue which few people care to consider as attractive enhancements of womanhood now. it will ruin the world. the powers allowing will be to blame not me! thank the lord.

to the post- I adore women who have their kids young I don't know why,I just find that to be so sexy:)my mother usually refers to those types of women as women whose horse is greater then the rider, ie, their sexual impulses control them rather then their intellect. so my mother always taught me to have a strong rider mind and also that it was breaking the catholic faith to have children out of wedlock and that was a sin to do that. my mother always taught me that you only ever give yourself to a man once really, meaning as in virginity was a blessed thing to give and that multiple marriages was a sign of mental illness and personal instability and after I was raped while still a virgin, this upset my whole family badly cuzing my father so much anger he turned to alcohol and won't speak to people and my mother was horrified that such a social group would allow it to happen. because it caused me internal injuries and depression and neglect from other men I wanted and prefered the company of and my parents did not approve of the man who raped me and neither did I and we still stand by our values strong. one day the legal and medical people and those who wronged me god is going to punish them just like the people who caused my illnesses at other times just bc we live in a bad world does not mean we should lower ourselves to it but the wicked of the world are winning. its a wicked world we live in now. where the wicked and reptilian minds (that is the small old part of the brain that just rages and impulsive on sexual rampages and has no self order and control and quick to anger and flight or fight cuz they don't learn higher thinking skills) are working over time then the people with more mental faculties. nothing more sexy about young women fucking and having children some men find older women having children a more sensual mature erotic candor. young girls/ children today think they are adults with adult privileges at the age of the pre-teen movement of -711 and 12 are the shakers of the world, and that is a shame, majority of age was once a prized thing like virginity and also marriage and virtue which few people care to consider as attractive enhancements of womanhood now. it will ruin the world. the powers allowing will be to blame not me! thank the lord.
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i feel so worried i have done the wrong thing all the time. i am always regreting most things i do. i signed up to do some short courses but they are not easy. already i feel broken down and financially busted. i hate the admin course already and how its set up and don't understand it. i have a thing against some courses and i just hope it will be easier then it looks. i like some challenge but not that much challenge that is it impossible to win. oh, and i wondered if they would misunderstand and start up their biker games again. please go away. i am just consern with survival. my body just worries about surviving. my mind just worries about surviving, my heart only worries about surviving. i am not interested in love at all. i am not interested in beauty and marriage. i have no survival to worry about for the rest of my life. so just please go away. no one wants you here. after a near death experience I just don't care about relationships ever again. as much as i want love my family is what matters to me. just survival is all i can't put my mind and body to. don't expect much else out of me. all i want to do now is party and have cruise ship holidays and change my world around. yeh i study but i will never be a someone or anyone. i was put in the tard corner young. i can't make employers want to give me a job or a nice guy to like me. i have given up on that since i turned 25- 34 i was pushed on the scrap heap everywhere more so since turning 40 and i just want to party hard without alcohol or drugs or sex or worry of kids unless i find the right person. i sometimes think about adopting children but i don't have money and like i say "who would want me now?" it doesn't even matter anymore. i gave up all my goals and dreams because others gave up on me too soon, and they didn't return the goodness and well wishes i gave to so many. all i got was shit and insults and bullying and deadwishes on me since a child. i don't forgive so easily over all this.

i feel so worried i have done the wrong thing all the time. i am always regreting most things i do. ...