I'm an Idiot I cheated on my husband...even as My boyfriend he was in the **** and we hadn't been dating long before he got *****. As soon as he left it was like there was a change in our relationship. He barely talked to me or even made the effort to. I'm not trying to justify what I did... rather trying to express how I felt. Anyways not long after I started receiving attention from an older man I had a long standing friendship with. Well we all know what happened next. The terrible thing was it wasn't just once, this went on for three months even when my boyfriend came back. I ended the... affair I guest you could say and he never found out about it. I feel like a terrible person and I feel like I deserve to. Nobody knows about this I feel like I can't even talk to my friends because I don't want them to judge me and ask how I could cheat on "the perfect guy". If I tell him he's definitely going to leave me and I don't want that I truly do realize how much I care about him but do I even deserve these feelings of ? when I'm with him?