from my so-called "Best friend"! He constantly makes me feel like shit, uses me, asks me for things, and makes me feel like a fucking burden to him. And the other day i made a mistake, a big one albeit, but all the same. Background, I'm gay, he's straight, and very comfortable with his sexuality and it's never been a problem between us. We even kiss sometimes, just because I think that way he thinks he's doing something for me so he has something to hold over my head. Anyways, the other night I spent the night at his house, and i kissed him good night, and the confession is I don't know what happened/what i was thinking but i just didn't pull away. It wasn't a make out session or anything, and I certainly don't want him like that at all, but I just didn't pull away. And i apologized for it, and he didn't make a big deal out of it at all and we went on to have a great night. However, the next day, he told I made him ridiculously uncomfortable, and how he didn't want to be around me anymore. I have done so much for this bitch, he has a terrible home life, I have snuck him out of his house, he went without a job for a while, I fed him. I even filled his gas tank, so he could go see his ex-girlfriend 2 hours away. I even bought her fucking birthday gift for him. I have done nothing but love and help this guy, and then tonight he told me that he has been thinking that I have been using him for his body this entire time... like i was some manipulative rapist. I have had several boyfriends and multiple hook ups in our time, I'm far from sex hungry. I was raped as an 8 year old... and being compared to that monster... I've never been hit so hard. I hate him. And i regret loving him so much.
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