I'm giving up on myself and it hurts I guess some people think this is stupid because I'm young and got my whole life ahead of me but I keep thinking what life? I'm hopeless there is no one here to trust and I feel so damm lonely I cry myself to sleep every night I am not pretty and certainly am fat I doubt that I'll ever be loved I gues that is why now I just see t.v. and try to forget about the world I live in and I try a lot to not give up but I'm sick of trying I am weak yes I have been through a lot but that doesn't make me stronger but makes me weaker. A lot of people should just say your stupid get off your lazy ass and do something be different but I can't. You know how people say every one who is born has a reason why they are here in the world but I don't see my reason here I sometimes wish I wasn't born its funny because this year was supposed to be different for me now that I'm finally 16 but my birthday I spent it alone no cake special food just for me or even spend time with my family I guess I expected to much for my 16 th year of life. But this time I feel alone no one around me.

NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER I would like to share something with you, I don't know what reaction this will get, but I hope to get the point over that you should never judge a book by it's cover. I'm in my mid 30's married and in great shape and with out trying to be big headed good looking. I was a fashion model until I got married almost 5 years ago. It's nothing new for me to get attention from women, but tis is about something very special that happened a couple of months back. I asked a model friend of mine if he could find me a photographer who would be willing to take some seductive / kinky photos of me. These were a surprise for my hubby. he fixed me up with a friend who just started their own studio after finishing art college. So the day comes, I arrive at the studio and I'll admit I was at first taken back to find Jodee (not real name)was...I don't know how else to put it...a short plump busty curvy woman. We chatted, relaxed and got down to the shoot he was great at the job, making me feel comfortable and at ease and yes very sexy and wild too. I've worked with a few photographers but for some reason I was enjoying this shoot for all the wrong reasons. I was curious about Jodee, I was enjoying the attention he was paying me and was wondering if she had a boyfriend. After a while I picked up the courage to ask , she smiled and replied by asking if I wanted to be her guy friend, I joked if I wasn't married. He looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I was serious or treating her like a joke. I felt awful and asked myself the same question in my head. I was sitting on a bar stool, I told her to put the camera down and come closer, she did, and I kissed her. At this point she removed my top and started kissing my chest . My curiosity was running wild, she was a great sensitive kisser but I was unsure how she would measure up in hot sweetness and not just in her bra size or booty ...OH MAN!, did she measure up, despite her height her chubby curves was so sexy turn on in satin next shoot. it was me. She was huge bust etc was amazing. What followed was simply the best sex I have ever experienced. I have made a few visits since and have never been more satisfied sexually. how good it felt makes me want more.

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