Plans falling apart For once I was actually looking forward to something. A month ago I heard about this big expo that was coming to town this weekend. I was actually really hyped and stayed hyped all month while waiting ? Which is rare for me to actually stay motivated or excited for something. And ! A month ago I let my siblings know about it so they could plan ahead if they wanted to come too. Fast forward to now. Oldest brother says he might not even show up tomorrow depending how tired he feels. Month ago he had told me he had requested this weekend off from work. Amazing. I can't help but make it about him not wanting to see or hang out with me even though I know that's just me being paranoid. Also at the same time today I didnt do something that my sister wanted me too for her, so now she's upset and making me feel like shit by really digging into sore subjects and my paranoid worries. My motivation is melting away. I feel sick. I dont even want to go tomorrow. It was a dumb idea anyway. God forbid I look forward to something and expect it to turn out. I dont even have friends to rant to. Well I have one. But I don't want to bother them,, they're the only one I have that still seems to kind of care on a daily basis. So I'm ranting on some dumb website. Pathetic.