I'm tired of all people Hi and please excuse my bad fucking grammar, its 2:30 am and im just so disappointed at the people i surrounded myself with. Here i am fucking trying to be the best human being i can, treating people the way i wanted to be treated but yet im so fucking unappreciated. For example i hate when people ask you if youre okay after they found out you went through some shit. Since i hated when people who do that i always ask someone if theyre okay mentally because i know what its like to not have anyone there to ask me. Anyways going on with this shitty rant.. My friend who broke up with his ex a couple months ago started messaging my other friend in our group chat of 10 people saying shit like " Hey can you fuck my ex… get her to fall for you and leave " AND YET NOBODY IN THE FUCKING GROUP CHAT SAID ANYTHING EXCEPT THE FRIEND HE WAS ASKING. I thought i was going insane because everyone seemed to be okay with this. So i asked my close friend if what she thought and she said that it was super fucked up. Anyways today my other friend brought it up with me and im like thank fucking god someone was talking about it and agreed with me that its so fucked. He said that my other friends were talking about it over dinner and were talking about the strategies he should use. They were saying shit like "Phase 1 complete" and im so fucking disappointed at everyone. THIS ISNT OKAY AT ALL. Like yeah dude i get that she cheated on you and hurt you but you were stupid enough to stay with her for another couple months, lead her on making her think you guys are 100% okay and left her without any closure or reason what so ever. AND SHE LITERALLY WAS DEVASTATED AFTER YOU BROKE UP WITH HER. I get you were hurt that she cheated on you but why dont you just leave her the fuck alone. Why must you have the need to go out of your way to intentionally hurt someone. But thats not what pushed me off the edge to the point i had to literally write out my fucking anger(which rarely happens) and the only reason why im doing this is because i dont expect anyone but myself to fully understand my feelings. And yeah my friends who think is fucked up still dont understand. im just tired of all this bullshit…. And im not dumb enough to kill myself which doesnt sound so fucking bad BUT its not going to happen. The girl i like is the one who really hurt me the most regarding this situation and people in general. She was the one i wanted to rant to because i thought she was someone who actually wanted to understand me and hear me out. When i tried to talk to her about it the first thing i got was " omg im tired of this topic" since shes in our friend circle too. Thats what really gets under my skin and is a huge turn off. When im genuinely serious and want to talk about something the least you can do is fucking let me talk about it. I never once complained about the bullshit you talk to me about. Fuck you and everyone. Im so fucking tired of being a decent human being. Im tired of this shitty world we live in. IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING AROUND THE WRONG PEOPLE. Nobody i know has the same mentality as i do, which is treating others with respect and being sincere. We live in a world where people sin, go to church to beg their god for forgiveness, feel morally okay, and repeat the same fucking sin. Hey god can you forgive me so i can feel better about myself and repeat it because its okay since you'll always forgive me. Ughh…….. Im just tired honestly. I wish someone actually wanted to understand me and know me for me. At first you'd probably think im some fucking troll on the internet who fucks around so much. But in reality im actually fucking caring. Im the person who would stick by your side while everyone fucking hates you. Im the guy who will tell you that everything will be alright and im still here for you. I know what its like to have everyone turn their back on you and not give 2 fucks about you. I just want someone to want to know whats going on in my head. Who will go out of their way to understand me for me. Im tired of being noticed for all my stupid acts instead of recognizing me for being nice. ugh im over this stupid shit. Call me overdramatic, stupid, weak, i dont fucking care. Im just tired of being nice. At this point being an ignorant fuck who doesn't give a shit about others sounds so fucking good right about now. BUT TOOOOOO FUCKING BAD IM CURSED WITH THIS WAY OF LIVING. Its hard to find genuine people nowadays. But its not like anyone wants to be nice right? I hate when people say their nice and yet they still walk past a homeless person and have this disgusted look on their face or even ignore the and even worse call them worthless. Im just using homeless people as an example but its a pretty good one. ugh people make me sick. They have this mentality where theyll either ignore someone and call they a waste of time when that person is at their lowest in life. Yeah they know theyre homeless and theyre doing the best they fucking can to survive. and im pretty fucking sure youd go insane from being alone all the god damn time. If anyone actually reads this just know im not perfect myself, everything your reading is real. But just know im a liar in person, i sugar coat things and hide things from others for whatever reason. not in a bad way obviously. I lie because i want attention from others by making my life seem like shit so someone would ask me if im mentally okay. But eh its not like anyone cared to ask. I doubt anyone would read this but yeah. Fuck everybody