Its been almost two years since this happened but I still haubts me almost everyday....

My girlfriend and I went to a resort area for the weekend and ended up in a bar about a mile from our motel. We hada silly argument and she left. Aside from being high on drugs I was drinking way to much. The bar was colsing and I knew I had to walk back to the motel. I was so bombed I had trouble walking. There was a bench on the side of the building so I sat down for awhile. Within minutes I either fell asleep or passed out. I remember being picked up and put in the back of a car where I guess I continued to sleep. The next thing I remember was being in a bedroom and three or four men undressing me. I might have kicked or swung at them but was easily overpowered. I'm not even sure if I screamed or cried but for the next few hours was raped, sodomized and forced to give them oral sex. As humiliated as I feel its even more embarrassing to me that I remember having several orgasms. I'm sure they were well aware of it and continued abusing me the whole time, parts of which I still don't remember. I can't even remember what they look like. I do know they were much older than me, probably in their 40's. When they were done with me they put me in the back seat of the car naked and started driving. I had no conception of where I was and was still drunk and very tired. As we drove the man in the back made me give him oral sex again. The car finaaly stopped and they layed me on the ground naked and threw my clothes to me and left. I was behind a building and realized it was the bar that I was in. It was just starting to get light out and as bad and unsteady as I felt was able to get dressed. I still had trouble walking and staggered to the bench on the side of the building. I fell asleep and the next thing I remember was an older woman shaking my shoulder to wake me up. I must have looked horrible and she got me a cup of coffee. She worked at the bar and was kind enough to drive me back to my motel. She did ask me if I was ok but I never mentioned what happened. When I went into my room my girlfriend was still sleeping and it was almost 9 am. I went in the bathroom to shower right away. When I looked in the mirrorI could see dried cum on my chin and neck. God knows what that lady thought as I'm sure she saw it. I showered for a long time and almost told my girlfriend what happened, but didn't. I still don't remember what they look like and am not sure if there were three or four of them. The only one I slightly remember was the one who made me give him oral sex in the back of the car. He was fat and had a beard and kept pinching my nipples as I sucked him. He was more rough with me than the others. I am so ashamed and embarrassed by this I can't possibly tell a soul about it. I don't cry about it anymore but it still bothers me when I think of it. Much of the time I don't recall but my body was sore for a week or more afterwards. I never had anal sex before that and don't plan on having it in the future. I still drink occasionally but havn't taken any drugs since then. My girlfriend wanted to go back there again this year but we went to the beach instead. I was afraid those men might see me and I know I wouldn't be able to recognize any of them except maybe the fat one. Even if I knew who they were there is little I could do about it. It was my own stupidity that caused this and I have promised myself never to do drugs again.

By Anonymous on General,