lately I have been trying to eat more breakfast and I have 10 teaspoons of oats and some fruit sometimes or just lemon juice with water and tea instead of fruit. if i have dried fruit or fresh its nice or I have a egg instead of oats and a sliced fruit and toast and tea. I usually have a coffee mid morning. I like to have a small lunch most times like a sandwich with turkey, ham or chicken, with cranberry or avo or cheese etc, horseradish or mustard on whole grain or mixed seed bread. I like my greens a lot in shoots and leaf or I do a soup or roast veg lunch and peas. I like to drink water or mineral waters or juice. some fruit or fruit salad. tea and dinner I love all kinds of things. just some fresh sliced salads in lettuce boats are nice with olives or capers or lupins (I love them in the jar nice and pickled ) and chickpeas and onion with fish or meat. I love str fry and I love berries and kale smoothies. trialing different foods and alternative foods for intolerances. like yesterday we had a lot of veg broccoli and beans and etc but today I just had some ham and horseradish and cheeses, and greens (l like rocket and lettuces) and I love those mixed small tomatoes of all different colors and shoots and I sliced some pear and berries on the side, I had oats and a mandrin for breakfast, then wasted myself on morning tea on a small ginger biccy and turkish delight mini chocolate and a coffee and tonight we will have something veg and meat and I already have a basic fresh berry sweets made. The other day I had a flathead and a bean pumpkin and walnut salad with rocket at the gallery, it would have been better home made. I like different juices, cordials or these light syrups with small alcohol and mineral water and we try some out. I tried a ginger beer and myrtle drink the other day that was a limited edition but nice. I loved the trout and salmon and prosciutto rolls at the restaurant and I just couldn't eat many of the sweets. I like mint or basil in my salads. last night I just had a green veg soup for dinner and crusty bread. I was just too tired to do much.

lately I have been trying to eat more breakfast and I have 10 teaspoons of oats and some fruit sometimes or just lemon juice with water and tea instead of fruit. if i have dried fruit or fresh its nice or I have a egg instead of oats and a sliced fruit and toast and tea. I usually have a coffee mid morning. I like to have a small lunch most times like a sandwich with turkey, ham or chicken, with cranberry or avo or cheese etc, horseradish or mustard on whole grain or mixed seed bread. I like my greens a lot in shoots and leaf or I do a soup or roast veg lunch and peas. I like to drink water or mineral waters or juice. some fruit or fruit salad. tea and dinner I love all kinds of things. just some fresh sliced salads in lettuce boats are nice with olives or capers or lupins (I love them in the jar nice and pickled ) and chickpeas and onion with fish or meat. I love str fry and I love berries and kale smoothies. trialing different foods and alternative foods for intolerances. like yesterday we had a lot of veg broccoli and beans and etc but today I just had some ham and horseradish and cheeses, and greens (l like rocket and lettuces) and I love those mixed small tomatoes of all different colors and shoots and I sliced some pear and berries on the side, I had oats and a mandrin for breakfast, then wasted myself on morning tea on a small ginger biccy and turkish delight mini chocolate and a coffee and tonight we will have something veg and meat and I already have a basic fresh berry sweets made. The other day I had a flathead and a bean pumpkin and walnut salad with rocket at the gallery, it would have been better home made. I like different juices, cordials or these light syrups with small alcohol and mineral water and we try some out. I tried a ginger beer and myrtle drink the other day that was a limited edition but nice. I loved the trout and salmon and prosciutto rolls at the restaurant and I just couldn't eat many of the sweets. I like mint or basil in my salads. last night I just had a green veg soup for dinner and crusty bread. I was just too tired to do much.
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I can’t believe what an asshole I’ve become to my dog. I used to take pride in being the best dog owner. I rescued my current dog at 2 years old and helped her get over her past trauma and abuse and learn to love humans and other dogs again. She has been the greatest part of my life for 7 years now. But I’m a cocaine addict and I’ve recently been using everyday alone in my house. I have been traumatizing my dog with my sudden changes in behavior and my constant paranoia. My dog has endured severe anxiety from this. I apologize to her every night and try to put her at ease. I say I’ll never do this to her again. Yet there I go the following day, using again. And it’s been like this for 3 months straight. The incredible pup that I once saved and rehabilitated back into a world of love and cuddles, is the very same dog I’m now completely traumatizing with my drug abuse. The poor thing shakes when I suddenly become a different person. Her eyes are completely glossy, and her pupils are completely dilated. I’m the biggest piece of shit dog owner in the world, and I can’t stop what I’ve been doing. My poor sweet girl. This is not ok in any way whatsoever. I hope that by confessing and reading this I’ll snap out of it and realize just how much damage I’m doing to my sweet doggo. The poor thing. Imagine you rely on your master for everything and trust him to always keep you safe for 7 years. All of the sudden, he becomes the biggest monster in your life. She can’t speak but if she could she would tell me that she’s so scared and traumatized by the sudden change in her owner. I’m the worst person in the world. I don’t deserve her.

I can’t believe what an asshole I’ve become to my dog. I used to take pride in being the best dog ow...