thank you for prayers . It sounds nice but I will be honest with you, we can't afford so much. we are currently just struggling to live and survive from fortnight to fortnight on disability pension and no job in sight since part time work in 2009 for me and there has been NO FULL TIME EMPLOYMENT IN THIS HOUSE HOLD FOR THE LAST 40 YEARS. SO I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I GAVE THAT SOME DEEP CONSIDERATION AND ALL THE STUDY I HAVE DONE AND PART TIME JOBS BUT NOTHING TO GIVE ME A LIVING AND MAKE A BETTER LIFE REALLY SAYS SOMETHING AND THE MAGNITUDE OF THAT REALIZATION REALLY ROCKS ME, WE LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT HAS NO STOVE, NO OVEN, AND VERY OLD AND RUN DOWN AND WE ALL HAD CANCER AND ILLNESSES OF ALL KINDS AND WE ARE WORN OUT AND NO HOPE IN SIGHT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD ENOUGH FOR WORK OR RELATIONSHIPS AND I AM SO TIRED OF BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST. WE ARE POOR WITH NO SUPERANNUATION EVER, NO SAVINGS AND I WAS EXPECTING A BETTER LIFE THAN THIS AS YOU CAN IMAGINE ? HOW WOULD YOU TOLERATE THIS PLIGHT YOURSELF? i AM JUST A STUPID HONEST CHRISTEN WHITE WOMEN WHO DOESN'T NIGHT CLUB AND DOESN'T DRINK AND WE LIVE AN EXTREME RIDGED CONSERVATIVE LIFESTYLE FOR SO LONG. . I wish I could afford it but no, I can't. I can't even afford to fix the house or my health or a good holiday, never been overseas, never been married, never felt valued or appreciated ever. Never afforded what others take for grated. the only silver lining I can see from this is that someone once said to me the devil looks after his own, well no devil looks after me, so I must not be one of his, right given my regular circumstances. it worries me that yeh, I do like material things sure and I wish I had that and more intangible valuable things. I have never had a long friendship. Always friendships fail over men. I have had some nice intangible gifts come to me like anna maria taking me to mid night mass. that was just so nice of her, then she just disappeared. I hope to have friendships and love as much as wealth and health and prosperity. At least I am living actively grateful each day for what I do have like basic things like being able to breathe and see the beauty, adding beauty to my world with nature occasional, but as far as relationships go I have failed probably based on others crazy advice. It didn't make sense to me for people at support group to say rubbish like "just because a guy is married doesn't mean he isn't right for you" what brainwashing right. My doctor and therapist is just horrified by that support groups abuse. living happy with nothing because I have been all along anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbb7xeZGR-U And I am sorry to say lady bitch diana and her mongrel kids. that;s right i am walking away from everyone and everything because good god I am gonna find a better day.That's right I have been walking away for over 20 years now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoZue0_NRH0 I could have been happy if rick had not abused me, he was my one more chance and I could have been happy getting a few baby bonuses and married some guy but no one worth it came along, ken couldn't live up. the uk royals will never understand child sexual abuse and I would never turn to them or idiots ever again. I saved the best of me for me and my cats, and not for another person. No one will ever touch me more then my cats !!!!!

thank you for prayers . It sounds nice but I will be honest with you, we can't afford so much. we are currently just struggling to live and survive from fortnight to fortnight on disability pension and no job in sight since part time work in 2009 for me and there has been NO FULL TIME EMPLOYMENT IN THIS HOUSE HOLD FOR THE LAST 40 YEARS. SO I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I GAVE THAT SOME DEEP CONSIDERATION AND ALL THE STUDY I HAVE DONE AND PART TIME JOBS BUT NOTHING TO GIVE ME A LIVING AND MAKE A BETTER LIFE REALLY SAYS SOMETHING AND THE MAGNITUDE OF THAT REALIZATION REALLY ROCKS ME, WE LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT HAS NO STOVE, NO OVEN, AND VERY OLD AND RUN DOWN AND WE ALL HAD CANCER AND ILLNESSES OF ALL KINDS AND WE ARE WORN OUT AND NO HOPE IN SIGHT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD ENOUGH FOR WORK OR RELATIONSHIPS AND I AM SO TIRED OF BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST. WE ARE POOR WITH NO SUPERANNUATION EVER, NO SAVINGS AND I WAS EXPECTING A BETTER LIFE THAN THIS AS YOU CAN IMAGINE ? HOW WOULD YOU TOLERATE THIS PLIGHT YOURSELF? i AM JUST A STUPID HONEST CHRISTEN WHITE WOMEN WHO DOESN'T NIGHT CLUB AND DOESN'T DRINK AND WE LIVE AN EXTREME RIDGED CONSERVATIVE LIFESTYLE FOR SO LONG. . I wish I could afford it but no, I can't. I can't even afford to fix the house or my health or a good holiday, never been overseas, never been married, never felt valued or appreciated ever. Never afforded what others take for grated. the only silver lining I can see from this is that someone once said to me the devil looks after his own, well no devil looks after me, so I must not be one of his, right given my regular circumstances. it worries me that yeh, I do like material things sure and I wish I had that and more intangible valuable things. I have never had a long friendship. Always friendships fail over men. I have had some nice intangible gifts come to me like anna maria taking me to mid night mass. that was just so nice of her, then she just disappeared. I hope to have friendships and love as much as wealth and health and prosperity. At least I am living actively grateful each day for what I do have like basic things like being able to breathe and see the beauty, adding beauty to my world with nature occasional, but as far as relationships go I have failed probably based on others crazy advice. It didn't make sense to me for people at support group to say rubbish like "just because a guy is married doesn't mean he isn't right for you" what brainwashing right. My doctor and therapist is just horrified by that support groups abuse. living happy with nothing because I have been all along anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbb7xeZGR-U And I am sorry to say lady bitch diana and her mongrel kids. that;s right i am walking away from everyone and everything because good god I am gonna find a better day.That's right I have been walking away for over 20 years now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoZue0_NRH0 I could have been happy if rick had not abused me, he was my one more chance and I could have been happy getting a few baby bonuses and married some guy but no one worth it came along, ken couldn't live up. the uk royals will never understand child sexual abuse and I would never turn to them or idiots ever again. I saved the best of me for me and my cats, and not for another person. No one will ever touch me more then my cats !!!!!
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i am starting feel guilty over food all the time, like that dr berg makes you feel guilty about eating anything but 1 lettuce leaf for lunch and everyone who is overweight eats themselves to obesity - I don't think so some how. and bacon, I liked it as a child and I hate it now. it makes me want to vomit smelling it cooking let alone eating the shit. give me grains or fish anyday, my father is making me consider anorexia as a option with his piggery on gutsing down anying paleo and meat and shit that makes you want to vomit. my mum turned me off yogurt and that shit is made from baby cows stomach juices- and its not that fucking good for us as you think! and there are other ways of making yogurt. swilling bacon is still fat and I know I feel guilty about every bit of cholesterol reducing margarine or butter or fats of any kind, carbs and bread and sugars to the point I feel guilty about eating fruit and so what every thin person lives on 1 lettuce leaf all day not like fat people, I worked out exercising every day last year and not over eating and I still put on weight. so I just don't buy all this rubbish. I was eating jam years ago and still lose weight. if sarina russo had not fucked up my life and her brainwashing nazi concentration camp abuse I would have been still going to a weight loss clinic and working but she was so jealous of me! and always will be insanely jealous of me! can't help her heartless dog faced self russo dumb hilter whore. the spastics of the spastics her and joyce together they could be great leso lovers but.

i am starting feel guilty over food all the time, like that dr berg makes you feel guilty about eati...

I don't understand why I don't have more out of life because I am not a wasteful person and I am careful and avoid risks and go for a sure thing than a risk, and cautious by nature. if anything I should have got angry eariler in life and for some reason I didn't. I had the car accident and hit on the head and forgot things, and didn't waste myself in my youth to nightclubs and drugs and bad lifestyle and i don't understand people who smoke and drink alcohol. I never liked it myself. I only bum puffed a few smokes but couldn't breath it into my lungs without being sick or vomiting. I was never a big alcohol drinker only occasional drinking like special occasions once every few years and i just didn't enjoy it after a stomach bug never had it since. it is not nice. i only eat chocolate now and then, I can go months witout wanting it then get a craving same with cake or other things. i never crave fatty things. sometimes sweets but fruit is better then chocolate. I am sick of being made to feel guilty as if I ate myself to this or i gave myself illness when I enjoy exercise and I wanted to be working. I want a better life even now. and sick of being told step aside, pay your dues before you deserve love, at this rate i will never be worthy there will always be someone throwing their old baggage at me saying i need to suffer like them when maybe they need to learn to suffer it out like me. by the time I am worthy I will be too old to have a baby and I don't think that is fair, all the years I should have been working and I won't accept I had no skills, just like I won't accept my parents had no skills, I applied for a job last year for part time floristy assistant the lady told me she got 400plus applicants and does not have the time to go through them all just some part time shop assistance job around flowers and gift sets and chocolates. there is some system helping certain people lord over others and i want to know what the criteria is. I told a college I am dropping out of tafe because I can't cope with the stress and their bullying. i can't relate to their teaching and marking and personalities. its so amway ra-ra american hype over nothing.

I don't understand why I don't have more out of life because I am not a wasteful person and I am car...