you have no idea how much I wanted to hug you pc 45** I had to as usual contain my emotionals and I usually made a diliberate attempt to always be on guard and act professional for my law/policing career and I had big dreams and wanted to be a judges associate and I realised in the end all I would be is a lucky to be a check out chick. I always have to play the role of the professional unemotional person. because no one taught me how to love. I thought it was best to just go through life with no feelings at all. ever. and I still feel that way to be honest. I had needs no one noticed. I needed your love so much the nights you came to see me professionally when I was terrorised out of my head, and here I am still living in fear of my life.