Two years ago my best friend moved to Canada. My best friend moved away to college. And I'm so lonely these days. I have a boyfriend, who is very close to me, but it's so hard not to smother him.Few months after she felt i hooked up with her older sisters boyfriend. Their 7 year relationship was on the rocks and nearly over. I don't have anyone to talk to, go places with or anything... It's so horrible. And he has friends that still live here that he goes out and does stuff with... and I have no one.I really fell for this boy. and it seemed as though he liked me but he never wanted to date me. still for two years we continued to hook up. I'm so lonely.... as I have pretty much been my entire life I always felt guilty about not telling my best friend. I don't like keeping things from her. but i know if i tell her i will lose her forever. I can never let that happen. i don't know what to do to stop feeling guilty. i feel like a horrible best friend. I know i should stop seeing this boy but i like him so much its so hard to do. ANy advice or anything that could help? But now it's only worse. I hate my life. Sometimes I just want to have fantasies of having someone else.

I have had this experience a few times even without sex when I had a mastoid infection and I had to take a lot of anitibiotics and antifungal oral fluids, antihistomines and anti-infamatories to reduce swelling they affect the stomach and I didn't sleep for a straight 5 weeks lucky to get a hour or 30 mins sleep for 5 weeks most nights and I would have to pump up on water because of the sodium potassium pump problems and also serriton and they were doing dozens of ct scans and mri's on my brain and body i woke one night chocking and another night i had a minor stroke but I had a few of them before after being raped and also minor faints as a child after eating glass by accident some how it founds its way into the stuffed capsicums and I asked my doctor to test me for everything from stds, to hepatitis, tetanus, cancer and i even wanted another test for ms, mad cow, and ebola at some point and thyroid as well. i have already been told i have ms, its strange sensation with wet brain syndrome and I even wanted my doctor to test for encephalitis, I would have had a spinal fluid test if they had of asked even, I knew something was wrong with my brain and it was not just chemicals it was infection and then mri's showed a brain vein narrowing disorder and that i did at some point have a stroke. i wanted to be tested for brainstem diseases and huntingtons, tb of the ear and labyrinthitis, glandula fever, etc cuz i got a walking pneumonia at the same time, and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga85sSRpWRQ, I couldn't drink milk for a good 7-8 months and everynight i had to play a Russian roulette with water and veins turning to burning wood and the dehydration and those stupid potassium tablets near killed me. I hardly ate, i couldn't eat salt even just some saline from nasal spray would dehydrate me and I had arguments with neurologists and was getting cranky at the bastards over brain scans. then all the cardio problems started up again. pathological levels of bp up and done and i knew something was wrong with the sodium/potasium pump with water in and out of cells. it took a good 3 years to be able to sweat it main parts of my body due to the kidney and spleen damage from allergic reactions to antibiotics that were the doctors fault cuz she would not listen and look at past records. i know the tablets that work best for me. I have been on very very strong duo and triple forte style antibiotics 2 or more at the same time after i was raped and even before that with liver fluke infection. I knew i had health issues that doctors were ignoring and i still know it.

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