I don't actively subscribe to the Blackpill, but I am more or less involuntarily celibate...

whether I accept it or not. To put it more into perspective; I am indeed sexless, but it's being lonely and loveless that breaks me. I tried pursuing company by means including but not to exclusive to romance, but I've failed miserably. Whenever I try contacting my mother I get reminded of why my upbringing ended up being dysfunctional to begin with; she is as narcissistic, dumb and delusional as ever. After such contact I'd undergo moderate to severe emotional outbursts and feel murderous briefly, then calm down eventually. I'm basically mostly an exact copy her, except I'm not dumb and...

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