TL:DR; Low-self esteem and rape at the age of 19, made me view sex as...

a chore, and it was the only way I could actually receive love or affection in a romantic relationship. \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~ Here's some background. When I was 18, I was peer pressured into losing my virginity during a one-night stand with a guy I didn't even like. It was very uncomfortable and I hated the experience and immensely regretted it. Then, when I was 19, I was [email protected] by someone who I thought was my friend, when we were hanging out in his dorm room--this was the second time I've ever had sex, and as you can imagine, it fucked me up immensely. For the...

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