I am a male in my late 40s. Never been married, never had sex,...

never had a girlfriend. This is my strange ritual. This is the only way that I can reach climax. Porn doesn't do it, nothing does it, but this. I drink a handle of Jack Daniel's. I prepare dinner at my stove, fully nude. It's typically a oily dinner in a frying pan, such as chips and fish, so it does splatter on my fully nude body. Then, I prepare a boiling hot concoction of stovetop coffee. It is so hot that I have been to the emergency room for that before. The doctor got a earful of all this...i digress....

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