rick from chicargo taught me to never ask or beg or cry or say "please please please" I don't cry for love or romance, romance to me is not sitting on a sofa crying its about living and partying and eating out in fine dining and dressing up and having money and jobs and nice cars and house and friends genuine friends that care. that was not what ken was. rick and katy were not real genuine friends. joyce was not a real genuine friend. I can't help it if I am a serious person and enjoy working out and sick of this pain and abuse. I did nothing to any person to deserve this suffering and torture. I can't help what mary's motivations were to knowing leave her kid around a drunk pedo, its not my fault or my problem I was only a child police have said I am not to blame for anything in my childhood and I will take the police around to that anna-maria and margart at wello pt and that bayside christain church and osullivian or anyone to lay it down straight at them what police have said to me. I am not to blame for anything in my childhood I never invited it in. a 4 year old can't invite sexual trauma on a daily basis in knowingly. its not possible to be to blame !