you know what really hurts me is not one church I have been to I have felt like I am treated with the benefit of the doubt and like I am not some monster, I feel so abused by churches and I never wanted that. I thought someone would like me. I felt abused by catholics and born agains and other churches. they didn't seem to really help me maybe I expected too much from then. its like I say to people, don't call me on my mobile I rarely have it on or read messages. call the home line. no church feels like a home church to me aymore. I don't feel at home in any church at all.