"if dad can't get a job with all his expereince and education how the dam hell can I with all my abuse problems and no help from schools or anything?" was my attitude as a teen. I felt worthless, useless, un-needed, unvalued, hopelessness set in. it took a long time for me to see I could do a real job in the real world because I had no connections coming here to this loser town, and leaving another loser town where I grew up not one teacher ever told us girls at the catholic school "you can be something and aim for it" they just wanted us to nuns. there is more to life then that. you still have to do some study to be a nun! we were never told to have a dream and work towards it. that is what I don't like at the catholic school I went to. everything was our fault. so it must have been my fault the abuser molested me too I guessed? and not one of those silly teachers picked it up. how dumb?