someone was sending me all these beauty kit sales adds and victorias secret books and calls all the time for fake accidnet insurance and injury from the car accident, they were indian and pretending to be lawyers but were stupid and didn't seem to know what they were doing and grabbing the phone from each other asking stupid questions in 1998 and 2011 it mad no sense at all. then other weird people would be ringing all the time when my father was with a community radio group the weirdest of strange people, one woman was a nutcase promising jobs that were not there at a island and all these weird people calling with politics and paper deliberately getting phone numbers mixed up over selling garages and tvs and people ringing asking do we fix tvs and did we want to donate to these doctors all the time at hospitals and research but would ask stupid questions that didn't even relate to any research in 1997.

part of terrets sydrome is doing repeative things like telling the same stories over and over, or flinches and nervous twitches or uncontrolablly barking like a dog, I was doing that for a while and had to just stop going to family gatherings because I couldn't eat infront of them without shaking and getting nervous twitches and uncontrollable or just out of the blue barking like a dog or making rooster and car break noises because their are no words left in you to say because no one around you is making any sense when they should but noises of pain. some poeple uncontrolably swear a lot or have other deficeits, I feel I am lucky that some of my nervous twitches did stop after I seen a specialist years ago but I avoid situation where I think it will set off, like I will not talk about sex around circles, I avoid classes that set out in circles where everyone can look at you. I often have little cues I do to calm myself or let my mum know, I don't seem to have the same trouble with public speaking as I did for over 35 years of my life even when doing drama at school or reading I was trembling inside, but once I went through a few bad health problems I just became less and less afraid of public speaking and quite like it now so long if I am talking about something I know. my fears seem to be things like going for pap smears and blood tests or needles (if I do it myself I can control the pain better) and hospitals still, I admit I am terrified of going on a cruise and flying is ok but it sometimes is a bit fearful for me. I have never liked water and I still can't put my head under water or even wet my ears without fear of ear infection trauma, I seem to think every woman is out to steal any man I like from me due to katey abusing me. I have no real sexual confidence in myself and I became sexually shut down from all the pedo abuse done on me as a child. I find sexual situations difficult but want a romantic love in my life and I feel that if I did have that and a child it would ease my anger and frustration and pains a lot, to just have a kitchen of my own and a real true friend. I don't trust a lot of therapist and doctors anymore. and I fear hospital still and I find it hard even looking at the building and that fear of death I went through and questioning well when is the big bang gonna happen in my brain or heart? no one ever liked me much because i was always so ugly! and unworthy unlike everyone else around me.

part of terrets sydrome is doing repeative things like telling the same stories over and over, or fl...

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