what i have seen and learnt in the last few years is that most doctors are poking in the dark with wands and haven't a clue of what they are doing. I can't believe I used to look up to most of them. and since I learned just a small bit of real things my eyes were closed to before, I can actually see why my grandmother as a nurse turned to alcohol, cuz she would have known how she would die seeing so many deaths on the job and things i have studied has made me see things very differently, not getting the career I wanted and the position of influence and family life i wanted and when that couple from the catholics came around and told me i should be grateful to be alone without love for all these years compared to stupid married whores who are abused. like that really insulted me, cuz things could be worse for any flucker. things could be worse for my neighbors if they fell off their balcony too, things can always be worse than what they are. things could be worse for any flucker even them. and i got up them for the way the st.vinnies whore spoke to me on the phone when i was worried about how i was going to pay bills and never enough money lately and cats sick and no oven or stove and then the solar pannel converter broke we just don't have a spare $2,000 to fix it. and the dog was almost begging me to take their dirty catholic money to eaze their dirty guilty consciences and i thought about it and said NO. you insult me enough slukts. and the old bagger st vinnies got rude to me saying "I can't help you, you left it too late to worry about a family and kids and career now at 45" and that was when I seen red and wrote to the catholic church and told them I am sick of their insults and rudeness and behavior against the teachings we were taught in catholic ethos. and then I told them were to go pluck off! cuz years ago the church got off its shonky gambled black market marfia assholes and helped good people get jobs. today they don't give a fluck. they only care about married people in their church who are the church holy rollers. and you will pay for that status. they are violent and like a support group person said to me, "we were abused mentally and emotionally in the catholic faith for the times of the 60s, 70s and 80s for being white average class girls. everything was poor flucking niggars. and kiss a niggars poor fluckng ass. and the guilt trips they threw on us kids over everything and anything they could. we were not allowed to flaunt we were forced into silence and modesty as catholic white girls and they didn't care about our educations and futures. to be told by some jumped up old catholic whore bitchdog that i should be grateful to have no one and no job offended me. I am insulted. that shows what bastardization that church is about. they want us to be alone and shut down for the niggar. they are trying to break down the white man, white man religion, white man money, white man ways. it was never the white mans or white womans burden to save their flucking depraved dirty mean ugly niggar souls, cuz they don't have any.

what i have seen and learnt in the last few years is that most doctors are poking in the dark with wands and haven't a clue of what they are doing. I can't believe I used to look up to most of them. and since I learned just a small bit of real things my eyes were closed to before, I can actually see why my grandmother as a nurse turned to alcohol, cuz she would have known how she would die seeing so many deaths on the job and things i have studied has made me see things very differently, not getting the career I wanted and the position of influence and family life i wanted and when that couple from the catholics came around and told me i should be grateful to be alone without love for all these years compared to stupid married whores who are abused. like that really insulted me, cuz things could be worse for any flucker. things could be worse for my neighbors if they fell off their balcony too, things can always be worse than what they are. things could be worse for any flucker even them. and i got up them for the way the st.vinnies whore spoke to me on the phone when i was worried about how i was going to pay bills and never enough money lately and cats sick and no oven or stove and then the solar pannel converter broke we just don't have a spare $2,000 to fix it. and the dog was almost begging me to take their dirty catholic money to eaze their dirty guilty consciences and i thought about it and said NO. you insult me enough slukts. and the old bagger st vinnies got rude to me saying "I can't help you, you left it too late to worry about a family and kids and career now at 45" and that was when I seen red and wrote to the catholic church and told them I am sick of their insults and rudeness and behavior against the teachings we were taught in catholic ethos. and then I told them were to go pluck off! cuz years ago the church got off its shonky gambled black market marfia assholes and helped good people get jobs. today they don't give a fluck. they only care about married people in their church who are the church holy rollers. and you will pay for that status. they are violent and like a support group person said to me, "we were abused mentally and emotionally in the catholic faith for the times of the 60s, 70s and 80s for being white average class girls. everything was poor flucking niggars. and kiss a niggars poor fluckng ass. and the guilt trips they threw on us kids over everything and anything they could. we were not allowed to flaunt we were forced into silence and modesty as catholic white girls and they didn't care about our educations and futures. to be told by some jumped up old catholic whore bitchdog that i should be grateful to have no one and no job offended me. I am insulted. that shows what bastardization that church is about. they want us to be alone and shut down for the niggar. they are trying to break down the white man, white man religion, white man money, white man ways. it was never the white mans or white womans burden to save their flucking depraved dirty mean ugly niggar souls, cuz they don't have any.
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I'm not stupid.... I know you talk to heaps of girls, i know you say the exact same things to them all. You go out of your way to find them on fb trying to strike up convos with randoms whenever u get a response. Is it because it makes you feel good about yourself to get attention from girls or you're just hoping to find another f*** buddy or at least someone to send u naughty pictures...i don't understand how u can do it when you love someone so much... All these girls u talk about or have pictures of, u say too much i've put 2 and 2 together a lot & worked out who they are...i know they had bfs and who they were to you or they weren't just a root they were ur ex-gf (y not just say). You can send <3's, i'll prob send them back coz honestly you do have a bit of it, it's cute and all but i don't think i'll ever take it seriously, even if for some strange reason you actually mean it (why anyone would i'll never know, there's more to me than you'll ever work out)...prove i like you, ha i don't have to prove anything to you i've said everything i feel and you made me feel stupid for doing it, if anything it's the other way round you should be proving it. Our relationships are f*****....yours she seems quite content with how it is, i doubt she'll change. If somehow something happened i doubt we'd work, i don't think i could trust you fully and you might not trust me either. If i could turn it back i'd rather just be amazing friends that share everything...that's all i really want, someone i can talk to about everything, sometimes you make me feel that way other times i just feel used... You lie to me now or just extend the truth, I don't see the point, why not just be honest instead. What is there to gain from it, why not just answer questions truthfully....i'm not stupid.... I like you too much, even with all of that, everything else about you is amazing it's just that one small part that scares me. Sometimes i hate that you can make me feel so special but i know i'm not the only one...this sucks, i just want one person in my life i can rely on. Is that too much to ask?.... x

I'm not stupid.... I know you talk to heaps of girls, i know you say the exact same things to them ...