So sorry

I am so so sorry, I am sorry for not be too friendly, how can I be more. I am sorry for who I am but i don`t know better. I am sorry for my body, it`s fat, sluggy and heavy, but this is my heritage til birth. I am sorry for being sorry all the time and actually, I dont feel sorry at all. This is who i am fat, lazy, addicted, social handicapped and a 30yrs old virgin. fuck all of you. I have a good heart and compation but I cant express my love. I had open my heart before give a chance to trust life, but I failed. I can not let go my old habbits. I am doomed to lonely life and rotten jobs. my only ease is in the food, drugs and TV, it is so boring. I dont have any where to escape any more I fustrate and furios I hate this fucking life and afraid to live them. mostly i afraid from the time that tun day after day, year after year like crazy. I getting old and crazy. soon, I will need help, my pride will not let me reach my hand for help, I had a liitle bit sence of Panic. what should I do? I have all the answers, like I always had. I have the potential I dont have the power to concive it. that`s my story, this is my tragedy.