i don't want to be anyones friend because of the black gay drug special people. i don't want to be a friend to anyone cuz friends are bad news. friends are not what they used to be. no point having them. I have pets and I been hurt too many times now. I just have pretend friends now. everything is about self care self care self care in therapy today. I just get my treatments and pay for what I can afford and go. cuz I know anyone I get close to will wrong me. friends are expensive to have, time wasters, they are all about them, they won't help you when you need it. they want you to help them be great and then all therapy today says "well this is a world we have to walk over each other and moe everyone down in our path to get what we want and we move on then and ask them to forgive us and if they don't we set god bothers after them with threats of hell and then if that doesn't work we send the devil himself to punish them for not forgiving us" so my advice is do it back to every bitch you ever met you wronged you. when you get the chance attack everyone who has ever wronged you in anyway at work, school, family, friends - believe me friends are the first to harm you. clever people have less friends. when your friendless you learn to be independant and you can leave when you want. you don't have to go drinking when you don't want to, you can go spend your money on yourself or pets. you don't have to worry about your friend being prettier then you or stealing your man! cuz they will. its the nature of the beast in women to want to be superior in everything now with friends and lovers and partners. when you have no friends be careful cuz professional people like medical doctors and business women you visit will likely attack you and want your syncronistity and want to steal your life progress and future good things from you. so keep a look out men do this too. they are money hungry demonic monsters after money and your money, your time, your man and your everything. who needs a friend when you can get to know yourself better have quality time with yourself. whose the winner I ask you? being friendless!!!! you save money and time and heartbreak. cuz no woman will be a true female friend to you, this bbf and you put a man in it the scenario and guess what, she will be working on him and want to steal him from you. she will want your job and church and all the people you know and take you down cuz she is jealous of you. men do this too. just a warning from someone who has experienced it all. from mad murdering famous people as a kid to mad police and mad amublance abusive medical people. everyone is out to moe you down so beware. that is the way of the world a female therapist told me at lifeline. so don't complain to them. you can't win. just don't have friends. have invisible pretend friends and pets as friends. they won't let you down, but your real friend she will, so will your man, have an invisible pretend lover/husband/wife s/he will never let you down. that is the way of the world, its all virtual mind warping now.

i don't want to be anyones friend because of the black gay drug special people. i don't want to be a friend to anyone cuz friends are bad news. friends are not what they used to be. no point having them. I have pets and I been hurt too many times now. I just have pretend friends now. everything is about self care self care self care in therapy today. I just get my treatments and pay for what I can afford and go. cuz I know anyone I get close to will wrong me. friends are expensive to have, time wasters, they are all about them, they won't help you when you need it. they want you to help them be great and then all therapy today says "well this is a world we have to walk over each other and moe everyone down in our path to get what we want and we move on then and ask them to forgive us and if they don't we set god bothers after them with threats of hell and then if that doesn't work we send the devil himself to punish them for not forgiving us" so my advice is do it back to every bitch you ever met you wronged you. when you get the chance attack everyone who has ever wronged you in anyway at work, school, family, friends - believe me friends are the first to harm you. clever people have less friends. when your friendless you learn to be independant and you can leave when you want. you don't have to go drinking when you don't want to, you can go spend your money on yourself or pets. you don't have to worry about your friend being prettier then you or stealing your man! cuz they will. its the nature of the beast in women to want to be superior in everything now with friends and lovers and partners. when you have no friends be careful cuz professional people like medical doctors and business women you visit will likely attack you and want your syncronistity and want to steal your life progress and future good things from you. so keep a look out men do this too. they are money hungry demonic monsters after money and your money, your time, your man and your everything. who needs a friend when you can get to know yourself better have quality time with yourself. whose the winner I ask you? being friendless!!!! you save money and time and heartbreak. cuz no woman will be a true female friend to you, this bbf and you put a man in it the scenario and guess what, she will be working on him and want to steal him from you. she will want your job and church and all the people you know and take you down cuz she is jealous of you. men do this too. just a warning from someone who has experienced it all. from mad murdering famous people as a kid to mad police and mad amublance abusive medical people. everyone is out to moe you down so beware. that is the way of the world a female therapist told me at lifeline. so don't complain to them. you can't win. just don't have friends. have invisible pretend friends and pets as friends. they won't let you down, but your real friend she will, so will your man, have an invisible pretend lover/husband/wife s/he will never let you down. that is the way of the world, its all virtual mind warping now.
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one physiotherapist I went to when I was really ill did really hard massage on my left shoulder and he said to me "you have an incredible tolerance to pain" and I thought "yeh well don't push it mate!" because he seemed to go all the harded and then said to me "you will feel like you are having a heart attack but your not" sure enough a few days later I was packing off to another doctor beside myself in over my mastoid eventhough all the mri's and ct scans were showing what they said was "nothing" yet the ambulance officer said "there is a good reason why you have been sent to the neurologist/brain surgeon" the heart pain was out of this world serveral times in a few months I thought I was going to die I could tell when my heart was slowing down and I would be pacing around all hours of the night trying to breath and I was seeing another physiotherapist as well for pnemonia treatment and I just wondered why people were doing all this to me? ever since I was a kid people were putting this shit down on me, then all this deliberate isolation like I was some leppa or freakin criminal on parole going to russos answering the big bear gruff which was just insanity. all these doctors and tests all saying "no nothing is wrong, yes you have a ear infection but you won't die" and I was like well why the hell is this driving me insane the infection took forever to go down and once the ent did the surgery on my ear drum I had all this blood on the roof of my mouth for weeks and I couldn't brush my teeth so I was using salt a lot and I couldn't wash my hair because everytime I did it felt like my brain water was swelling and you just get sick of doctors saying shit at you that its like they are taking a bit off you rather then being sincer and polite, and there were a few really good doctors as well. one indian young doctor at the hospital was amazingly thorough, I get really annoyed sometimes because a lot of doctors today forget very basic procedures like BP and pulse and looking into throat and eyes and chest - they are often as lazy as the cops and will take the laziest way out of a case which years ago doctors would never do. I was insulted a number of times and I was warned to shut up and let the situation go and ignore all the bullying and if I said anything it was like I was going to get it I got the warning via other people however, they use other people to talk through them. that is what I don't like its really snide too. and I was not going to back down. I told one indian female doctor to go shove it because I was polite to her and she would giggle and shake her head and say the specialists didn't prescript the right thing or it wouldn't work what they prescribed and I said "I have to trust my gp i have to rely on you to work with my specialists and tell me things if they don't, if you think its an issue say so say why? don't just giggle and she was like "I don't need to read all that from the specialist I am a doctor" and I said yes but I am not! I need you to follow with the speciaist and not have me as lettuce leaf between the sandwich. why are you working against the specialists every time? why do you keep saying they are wrong?" that only puts more doubt and upset on me then making me question them more and more. I don't need anymore doubt I already have plenty, and I don't want anyone ruining my professional relationships with any more of my doctors becausse its annoying having to change doctors I need to settle somewhere and trust what they say. I try my best to ignore as much as I can, but I don't need the unwanted comments that are insulting because believe me, I can be insulting and slash back unexpectly at people too! I have my ways and means of finding peoples secrets out. I will undo people who mess with me, I hate my neighbors for attacking D, he can answer for himsself if he wronged me.

one physiotherapist I went to when I was really ill did really hard massage on my left shoulder and ...