where did I last have it. trace back steps check layby order docket and layby company the package navy pants- were on the box at the bedroom door, they fell down a few times I walked past I picked them up . i could have thrown them over to the cupboard at the mirror? I don't know where they are. mum could have moved them and put them with her things she is always doing that. dad could have give them away rose could have stolen them allan could have stolen them their attitude is like "she has too much, she won't miss them anyway" she doesn't deserve anything. i help others but others don't ever help me much. everyone is always trying to take me down and steal from me, no matter what it is. I want to be in a place where I can push and bash the nails down around me that stand out. I want to have so much power no one ever turns there back on me again. I am all about me me me me. self obsession 24/7 how I am perfect and better then others and getting ahead and and how I need things more then others I need to learn to be like other women, more bitchy more controlling and pushy and self obsessed and self gaining and maneuvering people into liking me and working for my benefits to help me only at all times. i mean i am all that matters in the world that is how you get ahead thinking of yourself all the time. I have been too giving I have to learn to be selfish and conceited and self adoring more.

where did I last have it. trace back steps check layby order docket and layby company the package navy pants- were on the box at the bedroom door, they fell down a few times I walked past I picked them up . i could have thrown them over to the cupboard at the mirror? I don't know where they are. mum could have moved them and put them with her things she is always doing that. dad could have give them away rose could have stolen them allan could have stolen them their attitude is like "she has too much, she won't miss them anyway" she doesn't deserve anything. i help others but others don't ever help me much. everyone is always trying to take me down and steal from me, no matter what it is. I want to be in a place where I can push and bash the nails down around me that stand out. I want to have so much power no one ever turns there back on me again. I am all about me me me me. self obsession 24/7 how I am perfect and better then others and getting ahead and and how I need things more then others I need to learn to be like other women, more bitchy more controlling and pushy and self obsessed and self gaining and maneuvering people into liking me and working for my benefits to help me only at all times. i mean i am all that matters in the world that is how you get ahead thinking of yourself all the time. I have been too giving I have to learn to be selfish and conceited and self adoring more.
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so I said goodbye to hans and fabian, I really liked hans a lot, well I liked them both they had very strong german accents. but we had a office party and I drank too much and near pasted out on the way home, this asian guy drove me home and I could barely walk and like maria was like have some more drink, and I kept saying, 'no I really can't I have had enough I am starting to really get dizzy now" she is like "no no us germans know how to drink" well they did drink more then me, but hans was pretty cute that night, or maybe it was just that I had drank so much but didn't want to. I am not big on office parties that is literally the first and only office party I have been to, when I worked for a doctor he took us out to dinner and I just don't drink anymore. i found it was making me feel ill in the stomach too much. I liked port but don't drink that. I still have a full bottle of shrminoff gold leaf cinnamon and a full bottle of absynthe and i want to try it cuz I have never tasted it. i don't drink much - like i have had a fluffy duck once and a cosmopolitian once, a martini once, a mostly drank tia maria breeze with cranberry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpHfgDDK9cc my version is in a tall glass less alcohol more cranberry and mint or baileys on ice or just vodka mudslides with milk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR2ZJ1cGxyw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HkH1glleNs it just sounds nice because its made of fennel seeds but it might be a let down? I still have champaign in the fridge that has been there for about 4 years I never touch the dam stuff.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVlYfKv4we0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGJd-ZQK4os . I am not an expert on cocktails. I tried to make them only once and that was it didn't like it and won't touch the rubbish now, I am strictly iced herb tea or floral waters. the best wine I had was with a twist of apple and cuccumber flavor and one with honey ages ago.

so I said goodbye to hans and fabian, I really liked hans a lot, well I liked them both they had ver...