=/ I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be so happy and carefree.. but I'm not I've changed but no one noticed. I act like I'm confident when I'm really not. I act like I'm happy, I put a fake smile on everyday. Why can't I just truly be happy? Why don't i f****** love myself? I don't get it. People say I'm pretty but I don't believe that. I'm so insecure of my under eye circles and I feel so awkward when people comment my body. Why do I feel this way? I think I'm Bi. I don't want to admit it though, I'm in denial. I've watched p*** before and it got me h**** and I feel horrible.. almost as if I'm doing something wrong and I AM. My parents would kill me if they knew that I was bi, it's not in my culture to be bi. I'm supposed to be straight and get married to a guy that's the same race as me. I have a boyfriend, I think he knows that I'm Bi, but i'm not sure. I love him so much! How can I say that thought when I don't even love myself. I feel like everyone hates me. I don't know why.. I feel like I can't be myself around certain people. I feel like I have to act in a certain way so people can accept me for who I am. Why am i living this fake life? Why do I think that people don't like me? It's not like I did anything wrong.

=/ I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be so happy and carefree.. but I'm not I've changed but no one noticed. I act like I'm confident when I'm really not. I act like I'm happy, I put a fake smile on everyday. Why can't I just truly be happy? Why don't i f****** love myself? I don't get it. People say I'm pretty but I don't believe that. I'm so insecure of my under eye circles and I feel so awkward when people comment my body. Why do I feel this way? I think I'm Bi. I don't want to admit it though, I'm in denial. I've watched p*** before and it got me h**** and I feel horrible.. almost as if I'm doing something wrong and I AM. My parents would kill me if they knew that I was bi, it's not in my culture to be bi. I'm supposed to be straight and get married to a guy that's the same race as me. I have a boyfriend, I think he knows that I'm Bi, but i'm not sure. I love him so much! How can I say that thought when I don't even love myself. I feel like everyone hates me. I don't know why.. I feel like I can't be myself around certain people. I feel like I have to act in a certain way so people can accept me for who I am. Why am i living this fake life? Why do I think that people don't like me? It's not like I did anything wrong.
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all my parents do is "hate" on people a lot. my dad says "I would like to get c--ky and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze her throat" for years he said this in raging drunken arguments, I just giggle to myself or to my mother, or mumbles to himself about "hating people" and its always "bugger this one, or bugger that one" and "auuggghha I caaaan't" get do this or that. or if something breaks he up and throws it, when the fly screen door handle broke he up and threw it and said "arrggggah bugger the bloody thing", my mother is not much different. she over acts on all kinds of things, comes the dotty little obese dwarf with her dwarf mind and her dwarfted life and attitudes and dwarfed image as her relatives have of her. then there is my sister who tells a heap of shit to people all the time about her marriages and life and will attack over just asking her out or offering her a birthday gift you get attacked, so I have given up buying a thing for her. she refuses all xmas and birthday gifts for the last 7 or more years and has quite a stash of clothing and perfumes and stuff herself that she buys herself, I buy myself my things cuz no one else would so I buy for myself too. and I won't give my things away to anyone and we don't have love thy neighbor values and my sister is the first to say that about everyone. she refuses to forgive people who have wronged us and doesn't want to talk to neighbors and people and I don't want to either or does my mother. dad is about the only that barely tolerates them but he doesn't like them and thinks they are scanky. of course I tell him all the time the stuff I hear and see and them on drugs over their and I like painting bad views about others so I can feel so much better and say "TUT-TUT", what ever turns you on, drugs turn them on, "tut-tut ing turns me on" I just ignore a lot of people now. its the only way to be. my mother and me and dad do our own thing and my sister does her own thing.

all my parents do is "hate" on people a lot. my dad says "I would like to get c--ky and squeeze and ...