love to me is being able to wear the wedding dress of your dreams in a church and a lovely wedding day and diamonds and foods and being treated like your worth being invited to parties and events by others and being appreciated, helping do community things and getting rewards for it and having friends put on a suprise birthday party for me, love to me is being given choices and feelings of "you are good enough", love to me is getting the high income pay cheque in some corporate office or academic profession , or why is it all the psychology i did, all the university all the law , all the health study all the things I have done - nothing is ever good enough. I have no skills, I have nothing any man would want but fat old losers? why? why is everyone else allowed a men of their choice and baby and wedding but me? and I this always being forced out with losers like russell or parker or gossing or ken who were dead boring depressing morbid losers I couldn't stand. why cant I bash a women for a man like katey did. why can't i be like joyce with a police husband who looks cute and treat young women like shit likee she did to me? why cant I have a corporate job or own investments that would make your ass fall off? like other people are allowed to. why am I the one that always has to be reasonable and sensible and everyone else is allowe to be stupid, violent and rude and nasty but me, why do I have to have more self control than anyone and everyone else I know or around me??????? NO ONE HAS THE SELF CONTROL I HAVE AND I AM SICK OF IT. I WANT TO BASH WOMEN. I WANT TO BASH CERTAIN MEN. I DON'T TRUST A LOT OF PEOPLE ANYMORE. WE NEED TO WIN A LOTTERY TO GO ON THIS CRUISE CUZ WITH WORK I CAN'T DO IT, I CAN'T SAVE WITHOUT WORK. I SHOULD HAVE EMPLOYMENT AND I AM A BETTER PERSON THAT SARINA RUSSO OR MOST WOMEN ACTUALLY.

love to me is being able to wear the wedding dress of your dreams in a church and a lovely wedding day and diamonds and foods and being treated like your worth being invited to parties and events by others and being appreciated, helping do community things and getting rewards for it and having friends put on a suprise birthday party for me, love to me is being given choices and feelings of "you are good enough", love to me is getting the high income pay cheque in some corporate office or academic profession , or why is it all the psychology i did, all the university all the law , all the health study all the things I have done - nothing is ever good enough. I have no skills, I have nothing any man would want but fat old losers? why? why is everyone else allowed a men of their choice and baby and wedding but me? and I this always being forced out with losers like russell or parker or gossing or ken who were dead boring depressing morbid losers I couldn't stand. why cant I bash a women for a man like katey did. why can't i be like joyce with a police husband who looks cute and treat young women like shit likee she did to me? why cant I have a corporate job or own investments that would make your ass fall off? like other people are allowed to. why am I the one that always has to be reasonable and sensible and everyone else is allowe to be stupid, violent and rude and nasty but me, why do I have to have more self control than anyone and everyone else I know or around me??????? NO ONE HAS THE SELF CONTROL I HAVE AND I AM SICK OF IT. I WANT TO BASH WOMEN. I WANT TO BASH CERTAIN MEN. I DON'T TRUST A LOT OF PEOPLE ANYMORE. WE NEED TO WIN A LOTTERY TO GO ON THIS CRUISE CUZ WITH WORK I CAN'T DO IT, I CAN'T SAVE WITHOUT WORK. I SHOULD HAVE EMPLOYMENT AND I AM A BETTER PERSON THAT SARINA RUSSO OR MOST WOMEN ACTUALLY.
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I I I ME ME ME that's all I see. self proclaimed superiority I am full of guilt and shame. I should be so much more . I have been given so many opportunities, and I piss in their face. I am never satisfied. I have been happy, truly, genuinely, first reactionary, happy twice. I'm no fool. These thought processes are recognized, and purposely counterweighted with false positivity. A doctor would give me drugs. I will give myself what they call drugs. I'll help you out brother. If your eyes could only see the nights sky as it was intended, as it actually is, not a washed out reflection of man made energies, then we surely would not be discussing such a depressing topic. If you lived with the drive that drove our ancestors to survive, not thrive, you would know yourself, not wholly but more. I I I ME ME ME that's all I see. self proclaimed superiority Full of guilt and shame, should be so much more . Have been given much opportunity, piss cunts in their face. Never satisfied. Been happy, truly, genuinely, first reactionary, happy(2). Not a fool. Recognized thought processes, purposely counterweighted with false positivity. A doctor would give drugs. Take what they call drugs. To help others. ifYour eyes could only see the nights sky as it was intended, as it actually is, not a washed out reflection of mistaken energies, then surely depression would lessen. If we lived the drive that drove our ancestors to survive, not thrive, we would know, not wholly but more. The above applies, this is known fully. For what is the point if it isn't to feel good and good and good then better and better and better then great then great all while spreading disease of infinite disappointment(joy). Be willing to accept the fact that everything learned, everything shared with the world today, could be false. No respect to those who do not. However unlikely, we must accept that COULD be wrong. This will free us, such as it did, and will. The answer to the question you are asking now, RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT IN THIS CURRENT TIME...IS.... Yes. I am.would you be willing to accept the fact that everything you have learned, everything you have shared with the world today, could in fact be false? I don't respect anyone who can not admit that. However unlikely, you must accept that you COULD be wrong. This will free you, such as it did myself. The answer to the question you are asking yourself now, RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY MOMENT IN THIS CURRENT TIME...IS.... Yes. I am.

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