The man that molested me is getting out of prison…. When I was 12 I was molested by my adoptive father. He adopted me when I was 5 and had been a great dad up until that point. It was not just a one time thing it went on for months but I was too afraid to tell until I finally trusted someone enough to let it all out. He was a juvenile probation officer so it was a big deal, in the papers, news, etc. which you can imagine is hard for a kid. anyway he was sentenced to 10 years in prison and in july that 10 years will be up… and I really dont know how to feel. I have so many emotions I’m afraid for my safety, I’m upset because its rehashing a lot of old memories, and I’m a little happy because even though I shouldnt I still feel a little guilty like its my fault and I’m a little happy that he can live life again. WTF am I suppose to feel this way? And to top it off I really feel like I need some closure some admitence to what he did because still to this day some people in my family think I made the whole thing up and when the dna evidence is brought to their attention its, okay well if it did happen then you wanted it. WTF I was 11 & 12 years old what kind of 11 year old would want to have sex with their nearly 40 year old dad! But regardless of those idiots I still am at a loss of what to do. Do I hold this is forever never telling him what I need to say? Do I write him a letter and if I do am I ready to hear what he has to say? I just dont know =(

my religion is not that important to me, I have only been to church about a few times in the last few years. i am waking up out of the lies and churches abuses and lets face it most of them a just poofters and leso and they pushed that agenda on lots of people and brainwashed people into thinking they were lowlifes since kids. the churches will have a lot to answer to and people are not going to forgive them over the abuse. the churches are just a suck-up fest for suck-up brown nosing idiots who need the whole crutch of religion to believe in and everytime I was in any ways church minded I was in poverty while hanging around the fuckers. they love taking all your wages from you and have you in abstract poverty and self abusing. so if you wonder why you are on a low wage that is the reason, you got to break out of it and see them for what they are. religions are just occults. someone stands up and says "this guy is great" and they are preaching evil justifications for their evils. that is not good. they preach how unworthy you are to sit in the house of the lord or even utter the lords name how unworthy, was a phrase the catholics use over and over as part of the bullying mind bending games. see it for what it is. then you get this rubbish from other wanker churchers from usa penticoastals their witchery religion bullshit about mysticism fortelling mixed with shit to make some fat bastard who couldn't do a day job own his own church to preach shit at people as a form of work when its not. it ego maintenance only. all this bullshit about having to do penance, was a black magic from those islanders, niga new zealanders who are just animals that were converted to white mans ways white mans religions. so its a bit of a joke to me and my doctor agrees. in its pure sense religion can be a good thing but sadly not anymore. we living in a time it can not survive. religion will not survive what is coming and its their own fault due to the abuse and mental abuse and sexual abuse they did on victims that came to them. so what goes around comes around, cuz the churches are the worst perpetrators of abuse in all forms, apart from politics and multi-media's and advertising and so called entertainment which is not entertaining at all. one is actually surprised that they have not gone back to the lions den entertainment of killing prisoners in jails with lions like the romans, that is the mental and emotional level or the romans is all sex, and killing. bloodlust. all they know how to do these south americans, mediterainian, black blood types, they know how to fuck and how to fight. they have no other purpose on the planet at all, roman diplomacy is the lions den. that is their mental level. so catholic roman church is about the same. fuck and fight. the blacks, asians, and south americans all their women are sexually loooooooose women, they fuck men at the drop of a hat! like animals. I seen one south american fat pig girl who was ugly and dog like she just fucked white men at the drop of a hat in public. ran up to a guy and lost all self control and raped him in a take away shop infront of everyone so my friend and I left. they are depraved. no control. another friend of mine she worked for this italian couple in a cafe and she said they were always arguing and fucking and like a pack of animals she couldnt wait to get out of the job working for thilth like that. these weird foreign blooded ones they out of control todays world, they will ruin the world and their churches for their impulsing minds and actions. they get too emotional over anything and attack victims of child abuse over and over. let the churches rot in hell that they made is what I say. the sane people will use science and reason while the mystics use beliefs and jargon and no evidence and proof.

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