Sorry Uncle Pennybags, Sorry Mr. Monopoly!

I'm in my mid 20s and I can say that I have yet to achieve anything. I haven't done much in my life and this is due to anxiety and depression. I won't say my whole life has been crap because it hasn't, but for the last years it's gradually going down hill and I'm scared what'll happen when I actually crash. Okay I'll start off with what has happened to me through out the years. At 5 or 6 I was sexually abused by a family friends son. He was slightly older and I didn't understand what was happening at the time. He would sneak me off and rape me while our parents were in another part of the house. I get a lot of flashbacks but in general I don't remember much and I count that as a blessing. Recently I have also experienced sexual abuse from an uncle. Thankfully this time I reacted as quickly as possible and told close relatives who were very helpful even though I didn't tell the whole truth because I don't want to be the reason my family don't talk. This is causing me pain. depression does that.

I'm in my mid 20s and I can say that I have yet to achieve anything. I haven't done much in my life ...

Sometimes I really fucking hate being a nice person because people always take advantage of it and see me as a pushover. My supposed "best friend" (and 99% of people in my life) constantly takes me for granted and does not appreciate shit that I do for her. When I do something nice for people, I do not do it with the intent of receiving compensation, I do it because I care. It really sucks and angers me that I bend over backwards for her and never ask her for a damn thing while she constantly takes advantage of me. Whenever I try to stand up for myself suddenly I'm a bad person and that's what I try so hard to avoid doing because I know what it's like to have mean/awful people in your life. She ruined this one thing for me and had the nerve to give me an attitude because she's a selfish bitch and I've just about had it. I've slowly resented you but now I fucking hate you. I'm done with your bullshit because I just cannot handle you anymore. Honestly Fuck you.

Sometimes I really fucking hate being a nice person because people always take advantage of it and s...

I'm in my second semester of my first year of college...and honestly...I fucking hate it......I feel so......lost...I feel like I'm heading down the wrong life path.....I'm majoring in Physics and engineering and while the careers and money for that career path are great....I can't help but feel like I should do art!......animation, writing ETC! I feel so out of place....I don't even have friends...I never get invited to places and I've become a complete hermit... I just want to reinvent myself... I want to learn to how accept people's criticism while making it known that it will not CHANGE ME AS A PERSON..... But I can't...and in the end....it always affects my character...and makes me hate myself when I do change myself to fit their criticism. I never stand up for myself..... Not against my family Not against other students Not against anybody... I hate that I'm SUCH A COWARD... I only feel safe in my own head...with the friends I've created in there....

I'm in my second semester of my first year of college...and honestly...I fucking hate it......I feel...