Degeneración....

this is the first have ever done anything like this. and i decided to see if i could get some sort of advice/help anonymously. i guess i'll start off by telling you all about myself. i am currently a freshman in high school who lives in a big city ( i'd rather not disclose where i live exactly; people can be creepy). anyways, i feel alone. all the time. i have great friends and they're supportive and everything they're supposed to be, but, i still feel alone. i cannot be completely honest with them. i can never share how i really feel because i know that i will just receive "it's okay" or "it will get better" or "i am here for you". to be frank, i am sick of that. i don't want pity. i just want to feel better. so, i am alone. i am quite the independent person at home. right when i get home from school, i go straight to my room and will not get out until the next morning. i love my parents but i can't tell them anything either. well, i do tell my mom "everything": about school and crushes and all that. my sister too. but i never share my deep personal problems. i am here to do that now. number 1: i see beauty in everything. i believe that every single person on this earth is beautiful in some shape or form. you're probably thinking why this is a bad thing. here's why: i can see beauty in everything, except myself. i feel like that's important,actually, i know it's important. i wouldn't even be here if i loved myself for who i am. i just cannot love myself. i see millions of flaws and cannot see a single thing that resembles a sliver of beauty. i hate it. i hate myself. i wish i were like other girls. number 2: i compare myself to other people too often, which gives into number 1. you should see some of the girls at my school; absolutely flawless. beautiful teeth, perfect skin, tall, skinny, short, curvy, short hair, long hair, blonde, brunette, red-headed, freckles, no freckles, smart, funny, nice. see what i did there: described all types of people. remember, i think everyone is beautiful. but really, there are some flawless girls at my school, and i can only dream to be somewhat like them. that's awful, why do i have to be so jealous of people? i hate how i look: i hate my fat arms, my body is not where i want it to be, my nose is disgusting, my lips are nonexistent, my face is full of acne… the list goes on. i just want to feel beautiful. number 3: i really want people to like me, as a friend and more. i find myself so annoying and snobby and conceited. i feel as if i am not likable whatsoever. i really try to remain humble and kindhearted but i feel like people see me otherwise. number 4: the people at my school care so much about popularity, it is really a joke. but then, from time and time again, i wish i was more popular. people want to be well-known. I don't want that; i want more friends. i do not want to rely on the same people forever. there's so much more that i currently dislike about my life right now but i really need to do my homework. (by the way, i am quite the nerd and i love to learn). i would appreciate some words of advice if anyone is willing to give any. and let me know if you would like to read more; i don't know, maybe she people enjoy reading this, they don't feel alone.

this is the first have ever done anything like this. and i decided to see if i could get some sort o...

uhm, yes well here we are haven't been here before, but needed to vent somewhere as no one around me listens enough, I am still angry at dentmtime! she has neglected my teeth when I asked her to fix the cavities that were showing over 8 years ago and her attitude was like "wait and see". someone else has complained as well on here I noticed about another dentist and I don't know why dentists are doing this causing patients un-needed pain and suffering when teeth should be fixed when the patient wants it and I have been told to get a 2nd opinion which is my advice to those concern here. you stupid bitch! I should be angry as you gave xrays to me without thyroid cover and when you give fluoride treatments you charge a fortune for just some flanking shit of toothpastegrit or goo for dry mouth and that is not good enough for what i ask and pay for. why are you doing this to me? I thought dentists liked patients that cared about their health and teeth and want to pay out money on them. like you have to be so negligent and why? what do you have to gain out of not treating the problem? you really turked me off cow! what kind of business do you run there? what is this stupid checkout chick there for when she is stupid? not impressed with the impressions either!

uhm, yes well here we are haven't been here before, but needed to vent somewhere as no one around me...

i wasn't asked i was told to help other peoples careers and love life, so i did what i was told and didn't answer back, just put my head down and know my place like i had been taught by everyone around me who had micro-managed me.

i wasn't asked i was told to help other peoples careers and love life, so i did what i was told and ...