I'm now completely naked, laying on bed, the laptop is in

I'm now completely naked, laying on bed, the laptop is in front of me, browsing some hardcore porn site watching those hot muscled guys flexing their muscles man, i need to jackoff, my balls are in pain i wish there's a man laying next to me, i would kiss him, lick his armpits, bite his nipples with my teeth, go down to his belly and kiss it then to his pubes and smell it, then hold his hard cock and start sucking it all night, licking his hairy balls, and rimming his ass crack till he screams with joy, then i would top him and feel the warmth of his ass around my throbbing cock till i at the end expload with that manly juice inside him then i would kiss him, and light a cigarette and smoke I'm eating fresh strawberries with cream
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More from 'Adultery' category

I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But looking at me you would never know. People are catching on as my life falls apart. I've been living like a quadruple life I guess. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't think of anything I like. I hate everything and everyone. I have no friends left, the women of my life cheated lied and stole the entire time I've known them. Most of my buddies too. Just users you know. I always offer too much and people gladly accept my generosity. I always try and help but it eventually becomes them being entirely dependent on me. Then they go and I've lost so much in them. I never see the fruits of my labours. Now I'm totally alone. And financially ruined. Relying on booze and drugs to feel better about the shitty person I am. I pray to god thanking him only, not asking for more. He still rewards me a lot. Gives me great opportunity and strength to conquer challenges. But I can't conquer myself. I want to end my life. Nobody would notice except the few leeches who still cling to my generosity. Everybody I've helped is doing great. I never took time to take care of myself, or set myself up better. My friends, wife, in laws, girlfriends, and associates have all benefitted greatly from my efforts but I'm fucked mentally physically and financially. I even still protect people after they betray me. Keep their secrets, bend to their requests. I'm going to blow my brains out. I hate this world, it's ruined anyway. Goodby you fucked up people. There's a good chance that there is someone in your life going through this who helped you a lot. I bet you won't even reach out to repay what's owed. Sick fucking society world wide.

I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But loo...