Degeneración....

I have never been big on love. I have been in love or had a lot of crushes on different men, but men don't return any emotional exchanges to me even as a teen or young woman people always thought I was younger I looked younger and sounded younger in my voice even now people say you don't sound your age. I tell them well I feel a dam sight older then my age at times the pain I am always in for the last 10 years when I got some weird virus the doctors thought it was whooping cough and then I seem to get a lot of viruses for a while after a bat peed on me at night at work. I knew that was witchcraft abuse. I wouldnt know what love was. it wasn't rick and it wasn't all the weird friends of my sisters husbands either, it was not ken and it was not even frank. I think love is for the rich and lucky and selfish. love is a selfish act, it requires you to only think of yourself and be unware of anyone elses needs, which I was never taught to do. I wish I had been taught to be selfish and conceited young. it would have helped to be taught that and pushy and bitchy and bold, I was too shy to help myself.

I have never been big on love. I have been in love or had a lot of crushes on different men, but men...

most of the men I have liked have been academic university teachers or busines men from overseas or male models I had crushes on, but I make a point of avoiding a lot of people now and I want to meet people I love meeting new people and having friends but I have never had a real friend ever.

most of the men I have liked have been academic university teachers or busines men from overseas or ...

it really should have been me who won the lotto rather then other relatives. I am a bear at the best of times and gold bug and very tight with money and occasional flamboyant moves, I like strong investment and mostly reality land and stayed and steady type investments. I am rather old fashioned in a lot of things but not everything. like I found it highly offensive for so many teachers to be making comments about "the boys usually go into criminal law and debt collection and wills and estates and the girls mostly go into conveyancing and family law where there is no money to be made" and their sexist responses about a lot of things was highly offensive!

it really should have been me who won the lotto rather then other relatives. I am a bear at the best...