i hate my parents ,i even curse they are all died!

Affair with married maid. I am a married person, have 2 kids (9 & 5 yrs son & daughter). My wife is 18 years younger to me. I am in my late 40’s now. I am in love with my mother's maid, she is a mother of five and was married at a very young age of 13 as common in our country. She was raped by her married uncle before she got married to a person with no family and home just because she was stigmatized as a rape victim and her father thought that no good person would marry her. She works at different houses in our neighborhood to earn and feed her children and husband and to meet her household budget. When she asks her husband to work and support her, she is harshly abused by him (physically and mentally). But she doesn’t have the courage to retaliate. She is in her early 30’s now but very gorgeous – the hallmark of her personality which attracted me. Though I know her for years, have fantasized her many times in past but it was only 6 months ago (while she was working in our kitchen), I felt she was inclined towards me and I felt the same. She disclosed that she loved me. After that, we are having s** at regular intervals. When I move to other cities for work, we communicate on phone but she seldom shares her personal life with me. I know it’s hard for her because of a male dominant society and an oppressed and obedient wife. I have no idea how she exactly feels about her husband and me. Though she says she loves me but also says that her husband has the primary right over her life and she belongs to him. This hurts me very badly. It is so difficult for me to accept her husband as her husband and to thing that he is controlling her life. Though she says she loves me, but I wonder if it’s true. Even though I know we can’t be together, yet I often find myself thinking about ways to marry her. I know she wont leave her husband as it would not be acceptable by the society and she will be more stigmatized if she does and in presence of 4 sons who are now growing up. The eldest is already studying in a college. She is the most beautiful woman ever who came into my life, and I don’t want to lose her at any cost. No women have ever made me feel the way she does. Life feels deserted knowing she can’t be with me all the nights because of her husband. On the other hand I also feel guilty about cheating my wife and indulging myself in a vicious cycle of infatuation. She dominates my life. Her thoughts, her want has disabled my mind to think constructively about my life. I don’t know what to do? I need help, but don’t want to stop as well.

Affair with married maid. I am a married person, have 2 kids (9 & 5 yrs son & daughter). My wife is ...

FART SHIT SKEMP AROUND LIKE A MONKEY FUCKING DINGOS, PISS BANG -SNIFF FUCK SHEEP AROUSAL TRAINING. I am a blond 30 something wife with a 30 something husband. I have recently taught my husband to become aroused by the scent of my farts. It is to the point where he becomes completely excited when I cut the cheese and often asks me to fart in his face when we are intimate. I tease him by eating refried beans in public and then farting. He begs me not to because it turns him on too much and he cannot stand up in public after I fart near him. One of our hottest fantasies was where he wore a latex hood and I ate several bean burritos and farted inside of the latex hood. All he could breathe where my farts. My farts were his oxygen. CAN YOU TELL I AM ALREADY SICK OF THIS DEGRIDATIONAL ONE SIDED DEND END RELATIONSHIP"

FART SHIT SKEMP AROUND LIKE A MONKEY FUCKING DINGOS, PISS BANG -SNIFF FUCK SHEEP AROUSAL TRAINING. I...

What do I do1f5c6 I has recently dawned on my why I have been the way I am for so many years.. I was drugged and raped at 17.. The mind has some interesting ways of protecting itself.. It has never allowed itself to ponder the incident.. However all my insecurities have stemmed from this .. My problem is now, I do not know how to continue with my life.. Had I been able to address this years ago, I would most certainly have taken a different direction in life, rather the one which I seem to have chosen, which on reflection seems to have been all about concealing the truth.. I have to say that my mind is in turmoil, I question my beliefs and wonder what it was that I did so bad to have been a victim of that.. This is not something I could come out with so easily as it would disrupt the lives of those I love... Part of me is now attracted to Transsexuals and has been for some time. However the other part pf me keeps telling me that this is wrong and that I should resists my temptation and live a heterosexual life style... I feel more and more guilty the more I look at Transsexuals as I feel I am dishonoring my children and partner, however this urge sometime manifest itself in ways that I can not control so well. I am not ashamed of these feelings, but I am scared for my family a what they would think of me should they ever find out.. Being violated is not something that is so easy to deal with.. I can remember the night vividly, one minute I was in the club popping and E like most Saturday nights... The club was called Dungeons on Lea Bridge road... The rest is a blur, however I do recall waking up or coming round on the grass opposite the club with my Trousers and pants around my ankles.. Now I have done some bizarre things whilst on drugs but I can always recollect what I did.. Something I would never have done would have been to have left the club alone, walked over the road to an obscure area and then pulled my Trousers and Pants down... I almost feel like a slag.. my thoughts recently have been to just suck cock and get fucked my Transsexuals. I have joined Transsexual porn sites and Masturbated over men being fucked by Transsexuals and made a conscious effort watch and not be offended.. I have even thought about swallowing the cum of a Transsexual and acting like a real slut.. This is damaging behavior which I am sure will only result in my having metal health issues.. I can never make myself straight again and for the past 26 years have put so much effort into hiding what happened, even to myself.. I have no idea where to go for help and am beginning to feel a little suicidal .. There is nothing that can be done now ....

What do I do1f5c6 I has recently dawned on my why I have been the way I am for so many years.. I wa...