When I am having sex with my wife I imagine I

Having an affair and don't want to stop My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We are mostly happy, we have our issues as all couples do, but we rarely argue or have major disagreements. The problem is, his s** drive has decreased significantly since we started dating and throughout our marriage. We have two kids in their tweens/teens and that adds to the challenge of finding time for s**, but even when we have gone on trips alone or date nights and the kids out of the house, he still declines s** or makes excuses not to. When we do have s**, it is usually very good. The problem was, despite my pleas, protests, and urging to change, it was infrequent--once a month seemed to be enough to satisfy him, and we even went three months once without s**. On top of that, he practically ignores me and turns me down often for s**. We have a date night out, and I get dressed up and do my hair and makeup (I am 41, work out a lot and I'm fit and told I am attractive), he hardly looks at me and doesn't even try to have s** with me. It was starting to become hurtful and I was resenting him for it. So I went on an adult dating website and met someone in a similar situation. We have been seeing each other for about 6 weeks now--meeting in hotels during the week--and the s** is amazing. It is just s**; we are friends and have a good "relationship" in that we both have no desire to leave our spouses, but we are not getting our needs met in our marriages. The crazy thing is, I haven't felt guilty until now. The problem is, now my husband is changing. He is being more attentive and initiating s** more. I should be happy, but instead I am angry. I feel angry because he ignored me for so long, emotionally, as a person, and sexually, and now I've met this other person who does things with me that my husband won't. He ties me up, spanks me, paddles and whips me, is dominant toward me, is rough with my consent, tells me what to wear and what to do, etc. I love it, and my husband isn't into this. I want to keep my lover, and I don't want to stop.

Having an affair and don't want to stop My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We are most...

about 18 months after we got married my husband got made redundant and we decided the best thing was for him to study full time. Not long after my full time job came to an end as well. We struggled to make ends meet and I did various part time jobs. For a while I worked behind the bar in a private club. Laila, one of the other bar maids told me that the tips where much better if I wore sexy clothes. I told my husband, and after a while he said, 'OK, if you want to, why not' I bought a short flared skirt, and also a thin cotton top, which, after summing up some courage, I wore without a bra, self conscious that my areola and nipples were visible. The tips went up, and I decided it was worth it. Then one night I got invited to stay behind. The other bar maid told me that it was some wealthy business men who came to town about every 6 weeks and were into partying. Laila told me the tips were fantastic, but warned me that we wouldn't be behind the bar, but serving them in the lounge, and if I was to stay I had to understand that after a few drinks their hands would wander, and they wouldn't expect complaints. Well at first little happened, lots of compliments, but then after more drinks a few lewd remarks and the odd pat on the bum. They commented a few times about my wedding ring, asking how long had I been married, and that my husband must be a lucky guy to have such a hot wife. They insisted we drink as well mojitos, and after a while I was feeling the effects. I remember standing next to a one of the business men placing the drinks and his hand sliding up my skirt, and called Laila over too. He then said 'don't leave' and I stood there blushing as he described to his friends what he was doing, which was stroking me under my skirt between my legs and over my knickers, and he was saying my knicks were damp, which by then was true. Then they let us go, and I said to Laila that I should stay behind the bar. She laughed quietly and whispered to me that I was going to get laid whether I liked it or not, so might as well enjoy it. I thoughts she was teasing, but she wasn't. We had more drinks, and then I was pulled on to one of their laps, and he kissed me, and put his hands between my legs. They did ask me if I wanted to stay, but only after he had been fingering me and by that time I said yes. I didn't get back to our flat until 5 in the morning, messy and sore, but with about the equivalent of 3 months wages as tips. I didn't tell my husband, and quit the job a few days later (also partly because the boss had told me I was 'one of them now' and to over charge customers after the first couple of rounds). I felt ashamed for years, and in the end, twenty years after it happened told my husband. He wasn't angry or anything, in fact at first he just didn't believe me. Later, when I finally convinced I wasn't making it up, he said he was proud of me for doing all the things | did so he could study (and he now has a very senior job in a corporation). In fact I soon realised that it turns him on, because he sometimes asks me to tell him about it when we are in bed, and one time had me role play with him as one of the business men. What I've never really told him was how good the sex was, because I'm still ashamed he would have trouble with that. In fact I only remember it all in a disjointed way, but when hubby is away and I need to relieve the stress of the day its that night I think about as I touch myself. Other than hubby I have never ever mentioned what happened to anyone.

about 18 months after we got married my husband got made redundant and we decided the best thing was...

Husband fell out of love with me My husband has fallen out of love with me and has asked for a divorce. It's more than I can handle. There is no other person involved. We starting growing apart 2 years ago. He became more and more distant. Didn't want to go out on dates, started doing more things with his friends without wanting me around, like football games and going to the bars. I've asked do counseling. He said no. He stopped being intimate with me. I've tried everything. I offered to take us on vacation and try to get away, just the two of us. He said this would put a band aid on our issues, and not solve anything. We stopped trying to have children because he said he felt like we had some problems to resolve first before he wanted kids with me. Then he stopped sleeping with me all together. I told him that I felt like a stranger in my own home. He started eating dinner on his own, staying down in his home office later and later. I got my hair done, a professional makeover, starting going to the gym. He just has been looking at me for the last few months like I'm a ghost. And then he said he wants out . No effort on his part. Just existing in this relationship, while I am Trying to do all I can to keep us together and fix us!! He is Just completely checked out on his part. He went away for the weekend with his buddies to a college Football Game, came home Last night and today asked for a divorce. Over text while I was at a work meeting today. I couldn't keep myself Together on the plane. While I'm driving home from the airport, he sent me messages that it's too late, we shouldn't waste each other's time, and he's too old to be in marriage with someone he doesn't love anymore. When I came home tonight, I asked him if we are really over?? He said, we are over and there is no use in fighting and went to his office and closed the door. I told him this isn't fair and I deserve to be talked to and didn't come out. I'm on our guest room now and beside myself. I feel lost. I feel devasted. This has been my best friend for 10 years. I know people go through this all the time. I can't understand how you just throw a relationship away!!! He said he's getting older and doesn't want to waste anymore time. He wants out quickly so he can meet someone so Maybe he can still start a family. He turned up the volume on our tv in our bedroom when I started crying. This is not happening!!! Please someone tell me I will be ok. I am in hysterics right now. I love him so much, I don't believe in divorce and told him I would do whatever he wanted or needed. I feel like someone stabbed me in my chest. I don't know how to get through this and I still cannot believe he is giving up.

Husband fell out of love with me My husband has fallen out of love with me and has asked for a divor...