When I am having sex with my wife I imagine I

When I was high I use to steal alot from Walmart where I worked to pay for my addiction. I use to steal from my mothers purse when I use to visit and stole her credit card once to pay buy things for my dealer for my addiction. I blackmaled my sister susan to give me money 3 times or I would tell her husband Bill she had cheated on him. I broke in to my mothers neigbors house and stole a watch and necklace then pawned it for my addiction. I stole Karen Thomas's (best friend) new iPhone and gave it to my dealer for my addiction. I then blamed it on Karen's other friend Melissa. I pushed oral sex three different times on Dr. Ian Shtulman around his office ( shtultman family chiropractic ) just so I could extorted him for money by telling his wife Sasha who was pregnant at the time. I slashed the tires of my ex Brian's car because he refused to give me more money for my addiction. I took my boyfriend's father's (Paul) gun out of his car then used it to rob 2 trap houses for my addiction. I use to shoplift about every store I entered for items my dealer wanted for my addiction. Forgive me and I am not the same person now and regret all I have done to hurt others close to me. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

When I was high I use to steal alot from Walmart where I worked to pay for my addiction. I use to s...

I'm thinking about dropping off the grid. Pondering what it would be like if my friends or relatives never heard of me again. What it would be like to escape all this bullshit. O_O Life is frustrating as fuck.

I'm thinking about dropping off the grid. Pondering what it would be like if my friends or relatives...

A little over a year ago, my father was in a terrible car accident. Although he survived, the care he needed was far beyond our ability to deliver. It was a hard decision for my mom to make, but with my urging, she decided to admit dad into a nursing facility. As I saw it, this really was the only choice. My dad was so needy and I could not be bothered with this annoyance. The worst part was that mom spent all her time on him, I almost never saw her. I told her that if we do not do something here, I was going to move out and leave her all alone. Mom broke down and reluctantly gave in. I knew she would, because mom hated being alone. It was her biggest fear and I exploited it for everything it was worth. Mom took the move of Dad very hard and for the next year, she fell into a deep sad depression. Weird, although I felt her pain, this tragedy did not seem to bother me all that much. Secretly I was excited. I kept thinking, with dad away, mom could now focus all her attention to me. After awhile, I got sick of her depression and again told her I’m moving out and will leave her all alone if she doesn’t at the least, pretend to be cheery when I’m around. I don’t think she really snapped out of it, but shortly after we spoke, mom became extremely generous with me. She begged me to stay home and not get my own apartment. Money for a new car, Wide HD Flat screen, whatever I wanted she gave me. I admit it was a bit selfish of me to take advantage of her like this and take these things; I mean, I knew why she was doing this but fuck it, I deserve these things. Right? haha Reluctantly, I did start to feel some guilt about taking advantage of her desperation. So not being totally selfish, I decided to do something nice in return. On the anniversary of the night Dad went into the home, I took mom out to a nice, dark Italian restaurant for dinner to thank her for all she has given me as well as a night out away from her sadness. Although I wanted to show her a good time, I also wanted her to be grateful for me staying as well as fearful of me leaving. So, to do so, I purposely stayed away from her for a couple of weeks to make her really miss me. I also Messed with her car making her stranded at home And feeling even more isolated and alone. Yeah I know I'm a real D bag but I wanted her to be grateful to have me around. Smart right? Anyway, think what you want because, it really worked. When I picked mom up for dinner she was all over me with hugs and kisses. Where have you been? She cried. I clearly saw how lonely she had been. What a rush to have her long for me so much. Unlike the normal skank's I’ve dated; only my mother can make me feel like I’m a G-D. As a side note, Linda, my mom is in her late forty’s and not a bad looking woman. Growing up mom was the perfect Suzy Home Maker. She looked like she came right out of a cheap 50’s sitcom, but hotter. I would often catch my friends eating her baked cookies while starring at her ass and small but very cute tits. Linda has these fucking hot pointy ass nipples. No matter what the temperature, Mom nips seem to almost cut through her tops. I’ve never been out with her and not had some Jackass stare at them with serious desire. I too often wander what they must taste like. Sometimes I would fantasize about Mom sexually, but not in a loving way. I really don’t know why, but my thoughts were always of me dominating and abusing her. Once I had a dreamed she was in the kitchen baking some shit and I came up to her from behind, lifted her up off her feet and tossed her face down on the table in the flour and dough and force fucked the shit out of her ass as she begged me to stop. Pleading with G-D for help!! Now that I think of it, it seems like more and more, the only way I could cum these days is when I'm thinking of dominating and forcing mom for sex. I know! Sick, right? She always loved me and hardily ever denied me anything I ever asked for. I guess I’m just a spoiled selfish child. Anyway, back to our night out. I had selected this one restaurant because they had a great wine selection. Mom loved the red wine and to be truthful, I wanted to get her drunk. We had a nice dinner and a two bottles. I was starting to feel good and since Mom is a very petite woman, I know she was probably feeling happy as well. After dinner, to cap off the night, I also took her to a small pub she and dad would go to for some nice music and a few Baileys. At the Pub, Mom she saw some old friends and we made a party of it. As long as I was buying, the drinks were flowing. Cheap basteds. On the plus side, her friends were giving her complements about how lucky she was to have me take good care of her. As the night went on, the couples were starting to go home. Looking at Mom you could tell by her look that she realized even more so that dad was never going to take her home again. She drank more then normal, even after her friends left. She was really throwing them back so decided it was time for us to leave and told her so. OK, she sighed I could tell going back home alone terrified her. After the pub, we went to our apartment. Since she was a bit tipsy, I had to kind of hold her up in the elevator and to our door. I don’t know why I did this, but when I had to get my keys from my pocket, I pushed her against the wall and leaned into her roughly to keep from falling. She made a small ouch when she hit the wall and I got excited. Not sure why I pushed her harder then I needed to, but it felt good. Yum!! Once inside, I asked her if I could fix her a drink. Mom said yes and I made one for myself as well. As we sat on the couch sipping our drinks, she said “James, this was so sweet of you”. With Dad away, I really miss going out. Her eyes were starting to swell. Mom, I know it’s been really hard for you since you put dad in the home. I just felt you could use some company and a little fun tonight. I felt sorry for her, yet looking at her sadness was getting me both depressed and a little hot at the same time. I was also somewhat annoyed she was not totally focused on me. Doesn’t she realize that she needs me more then I need her? Don’t get me wrong, I do love her very much, but she needs to understand, I’m the one she needs to please now. Maybe it was the booze but my frustration with Mom was increasing. Mom was in another world and I was not in it. She was going on about Dad. Good things, bad things ect. Who fucking cares,,, I was drunk and not happy with her. I can be a bit of an ass when I drink and this was becoming too much to handle. James you’re really a good son. I’m so lucky to have you; I love you so very much. Thank you for a wonderful evening. Then in one gulp mom finished her drink and was getting up while saying I'm tired, I think I going to bed. Then Mom leaned over and gave me a kiss on the forehead like I was 5 yeas old. Like a slap in the face! I snapped. What? This is BULLSHIT! Now I was really pissed. After spending over $500 on dinner and her deadbeat friends, I didn’t intend to call it a night. I’m not sure what I really wanted, but she owed me. I had to make my move now to get mine. Smiling at her I put my arms on her shoulders to stop her from leaving. Then I leaned in and returned Mom’s kiss, but made mine deep on her lips. Oooh! She said, as I covered her mouth with mine. She was startled, but she did respond. I guess she was feeling happy from the booze. I was kissing her and she was kissing me back. This went on for a minute or two and was very hot, but I wanted more. Getting bolder I moved my kisses down Mom’s neck. I could tell she was enjoying this; so I began to unbutton her blouse while kissing her. This is when I started to get some resistance. “Ah, no wait! No, no James stop, please stop., she said. This is crazy. I’m sorry she said. I can’t believe I did this to you. I could tell she was trying to clear her head, but always the mother, even now taking blame for what was happening. I’m so ashamed. Oh, what you must think me to act this way. I was lost for the moment, but we have to stop. You’re my son and this is not right. Mom tried to pull away from me. No way was I stopping now. I leaned into her and made her lose her balance causing her to fell back onto the couch. As she still thinks, she is to blame for this I decided to press on for more. Oh mom, I said when she fell back down. I was persistent with my kisses and continued to unbuttoned her blouse. Between kisses, I said Mom; I need this, please, for me. I need you. I could tell she really wanted me to stop, but Mom always had a hard time saying no to me and let me continue. This is so crazy, please stop she whispered. We will regret this… Maybe she will, but I wont. As I was kissing Mom’s shoulders, I started to run my fingertips lightly over the soft silk of her blouse. First along her sides and across her back, then eventually I started to caress her breasts while pinching her long nipples the very ones I masturbated about many a nights. Mom protested when I pinched her point ass nips. I guess I must have crossed the line she drew. me being her son was just too much. James we can’t does this! I know I’m drunk and little lonely, but it’s almost as if you’re trying to take advantage of me! If you only knew, I said to myself with an evil smirk. James, you are starting to scare me. Please, James, no more!! She was shaking with fear and confusion. It only made me hotter. I kept going, pretending I did not hear her. James, I said NO and NO means NO! Mom yelled. She was trying with all her might now to push me away. Oh well, enough for the consensual sex I was hoping for. I guess it’s time for me to (force the issue.) I kept on kissing her, answering Mom’s vocal objections with more kisses and touches. She temporarily stopped protesting. I saw this as an opportunity to go further and moved my hands to caress my mother’s breasts rubbing her long nipples even harder. Looking into her eyes, I saw real anger, fear and true sadness. Maybe I am a sick fuck, but I was forcing myself on my own mother and I was enjoying myself way to much. I was also in no hurry. I wanted to play with Mom for a little while. I moved my right hand to rest on her knee. Mom was wearing pantyhose and the feeling of her legs was another turn on for me. Although she was resisting, I kept on kissing Mom and began sliding my hand up her skirt touching her pussy feeling its warmth under her panties and pantyhose. Realizing she was about to be date raped by her own son, she tried reason. James, please don’t do this. I’m your mother, its wrong, She said in a soft voice. I used her name, as I am not her son now Linda, I need to feel your body and I need you to feel mine as well. So please give me what I want. Don’t you love me? She started to speak in louder tones, James please, I BEG YOU! YOU HAVE TO STOP!! I’m your Mother for goodness sake!! Ignoring her pleas, my hand worked its way into the waistband of her pantyhose and then under her panties. When my fingers met mom’s soft pussy, I could tell she was sexually excited even if she did not want to be. James yes, I do love you, but not like this, you’re my Son this has got to stop, can’t you see this is wrong? Tears were starting to flow and it made me hot! She cried and really tried hard to slip away. I held her in place and showed some force. I pushed her down on the couch and then slip my finger into her cunt. I didn’t answer her and kept right on fingering her pussy and playing with her clit. My exploring fingers were having the desired effect as Mom’s pleading for me to stop now came between short, panting breaths. I had my right hand firmly between Mom’s legs, playing with her pussy and my left hand sliding down under her bra and pinching, playing with her long nipples. She made a last effort to try to stop me and pushed me hard to try to get away. I was getting tired of her fighting and wanted her to stop, so I gave her a look and then whacked her across the face. I’ve seen dad do that to shut her up in the past, so I figured it would work. Hitting her almost made me come. She screamed and called me a fucking bastard!! Angered, I hit her two more times then with one hand ripped her panty hose into shreds to get them off her. Mom gave up trying to stop me and all I heard from her now were whimpers and cries. I think her son ripping her panties put her into shock or something. Seeing her so defeated just added to my excitement. I increased the movement of my fingers in her pussy and started squeezing her breasts harder. I could feel Mom giving in to the sensations. Against her will, her body began to shake and tremble as she reached an orgasm. I kept it up until I could feel her orgasm peak and felt her eventually begin to relax in the afterglow. I continued to lightly caress her pussy and breasts to help her get relaxed. Although still crying and in shock, I knew she was totally out of it. She had no fight left so I took the opportunity, stood up and quickly stripped off all of my clothes. I then knelt on the couch with my knees on the inside of her hips. I then took Mom’s hands and placed them on my hard cock. I think she only then started to realize her Son was naked before her. As I held her hands on my cock I said, Mom, I have something for you. I then began to move her hands up and down on my cock. She came out of her trance, became fully aware of the situation, and started to protest. James, listen to me. We’re doing something we shouldn’t be doing. She kept saying over and over she was my Mother and this is wrong. Realizing I wasn’t going to stop she begged me, I LOVE YOU James; as your Mother, I’m begging you to please STOP! All your life I’ve given you anything you asked for, but please, not this.” I was not to be denied. I looked Mom in the eyes and gave her an odd kind of smile. I then picked her up and carried her over my shoulder to her bedroom. As I sat her down on the bed and with a bit more force pushed Mom’s shoulders back onto the sheets. Mom”, I said firmly between excited breaths. I’m not finished with you yet. I am going to HAVE you, FUCK you, this will happen. I know you won’t say or do anything about it. You don’t want me to go to jail and be left totally alone. Shamed by everyone as to what we did here.” You did this to me. You’re a whore that seduced her own son. She turned away in shame because she knew I was right. I took this opportunity to quickly unzip her skirt and pull it off of her legs. Oh G-d no…. She cried lightly. I hooked my fingers into the waistbands of her panties and ripped them off her. It was so fucking HOT, a total power rush. Mom was now lying on the bed looking much disheveled. Her blouse open, her skirt and panties torn and lying on the floor. Some of what is left of her pantyhose around one ankle and her little pussy completely exposed. Before she could get up, I had my face between her legs and my tongue buried deep inside her cunt. I was licking mom’s pussy and sucking on her clit like there was no tomorrow, all the while listening to Mom crying. Then, as I felt Mom’s body begin to experience a second orgasm, I brought my face away from her pussy and slid my body up onto hers. Without any notice, I slid my hard cock deep into her warm, wet pussy. You should have seen how wide her eyes got and how open her mouth when the when she felt her son’s fat cock penetrate deep inside. I was in a total euphoric state. I was now fucking, no, sodomizing my mother, a pleasure only few luckily sons get. Doing it by force only multiplied the excitement. It was such a rush, better then Skydiving or Bungee Jumping. I almost blacked out. Since Moms been without sex for over a year, so her pussy was tight and it felt good. Mom was whimpering again as I slid in and out of her. Her head was turned to the side. The hottest part was every time I slammed into her, she was making soft whimpering grunt noises from her lips, as if she was gasping for air. I decided to see her pert little tits and hot nipples as I was pumping my cock in and out of her pussy. So I took one hand and worked the shoulder straps of her bra down off each shoulder. I then ripped her bra so hard she raised off the bed. When the material gave way she fell back. I could feast my eyes on her cute tits. They were great. Small, cute and the nipples were standing at attention. I lowered my lips to one then the other, licking and sucking Mom’s tits and nipples. Now she was moaning a lot more than she was whimpering and I could tell she was starting to have another orgasm. I was more than ready to cum myself, so I increased the tempo of my cock in and out of her cunt and really started to drive my cock in hard. Mom’s entire body would shake each time I thrust into her and she started to make deep moans or gurgling sounds in time with my thrusts. As Mom cumed for the third time, I felt my cock begin to throb and was about to fill her sweet pussy with my hot cum. Mom was out of it at this point and I wanted her to really be alive before I would cum so smacked her hard across the face. Once again, her eyes burst opened wide as she felt the pain from my slap and then felt my throbbing cock coming deep inside her. It felt like a garden hose shooting sperm out of my cock and into her pussy. I collapsed on top of her, spent, but only for the moment. Weather she knew it or not, we had the entire night ahead of us and I wasn't going any wear. After that night, I took advantage of my mother many times making her a very entertaining sex partner for many years. This continued even after I was married. I even once lived my dream when I sodomized her ass on the kitchen table, while she begged me to stop. Sometimes I would take her by force and sometimes we made love but the choice was always mine and she never told anyone.

A little over a year ago, my father was in a terrible car accident. Although he survived, the care h...