Degeneración....

this is something I don't understand with some women right. one day I was at the bus stop feeling sorry for myself after yet another job knock back and diagnosis of skin cancer and this old woman of about 67 came over to sit near me and said "how are you" and usually I would fake a positive outlook and say "oh yeh I am fine lalala" but I didn't this time and said "well actually I am feeling really hurt right now, I missed out on a job I put a lot of work into trying to get, i have skin cancer and no man and being called fat and ugly by relatives and I have no friends" and she told me "oh I am so like you, I don't have a man either but I get on with life" then proceeded to tell me she had been married 3 times and had 6 kids and 10 grandchildren and had owned a business etc, nothing like me at all. I never been married once never held down a full time job for long and can't find a man to save myself, I have no kids and I thought you are trying to make out you are like me? and she said "oh well I will be your friend" and never spoke to me ever again and infact has ignored me as if we never met other women have done that to me as well acted later as if we have never met. how neglecte they are yet have husbands and lovely weddings and kids and I used to look in the mirror and think "why is it never me asked out should I do all the asking and pursuing and pretentory characters of a shewolf or something?" why has it always been I have to compete for a mans love? why can't they just choose me first and only me! I see a lot of guys I would ask out and they would be literally my world but they just ignore me and treat me like a doormat and I don't know why when I am a very giving caring person. people have said things to me I never once would have and now I feel so hurt I say them to others why be alone in the hurt when you can share it around?

this is something I don't understand with some women right. one day I was at the bus stop feeling so...

I just heard a creepy motorbike noise like it was sneaking slowly down the road and that freaks me out. we have had so many break and enters around here and freaky weird things. people stalking around teens doing evil things to my family and one night a guy was in our yard and my mum seen him and called us down stairs that she seen a man in our yard hiding behind a tree and when we went up stairs cuz the door down stairs was open and I got my mum to come back down into the rumpus room and all the pillow stuffing was over the floor as if someone had knifed the cushions and it didn't make sense because the dogs were there and you would think they would have barked so we thought maybe the dogs did scratched it out but like in that short time ?? like less then five minutes after we left? and the strange thing was another night a man came into our garage and even walked past the dog and it didn't even bark and my brother and his mate were playing on the computer and they got such a fright to see a complete stranger there. there has been nights someone broke in and opened my bedroom door and this night I made my brother sleep on the floor and later he went down stairs and the back door was open and the next day you could see that the door knob has actually been unscrewed and removed off and it was so scary we got new locks and the police to replace all the locks, I have to say I have never felt safe in this house. its spooky right from day 1 over 25 years ago and it has bought suffering and disappointment and like a bad omen to me like some ghost not allowing me to find love. that is creepy.

I just heard a creepy motorbike noise like it was sneaking slowly down the road and that freaks me o...

I dont want anna really linking up with me. I just don't completely trust her now. she hurt me before wrecking the beauty college thing and I just don't know how to trust her. I wish her well and I wish we could be friends but she is like so competitive over men and body image and stuff. and I can't seem to find nice female good friends anymore.

I dont want anna really linking up with me. I just don't completely trust her now. she hurt me befor...