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This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

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we cheated on each other so much and regret is a vile creature. Never leave any regrets in your life. They eat you alive over time. twenty years ago I was 18 and met a guy and we got married after dating 4 months. But he was cheater and liar. I left him soon after we got married. But I have regretted it ever since but he was he is and I knew I deserved better. Its been years and I still could never love him after he had an affair with my sister and a few of her friends and I got photos of their gang bang sent to my facebook page I felt a complete fool infront of all our friends later. But before I left him I messed my life up bad with gambling and my job ment I had to do fifo stays before it was the in thing to do. I did a lot of dumb things during my pregnancies that would be toxic to any relationship. He told me he still loved me last year but I turned him down because he was drunk and back to his old tricks doing porn in vans that made me sick, number 1 he had a too short a dick that was boring to me, number 2 he lazy and never bothered to improve himself or our mix of friends other then the loosers at the pub and soccor clubs. My mistakes would ruin his life? but then his would sure ruin mine. I want him to be snappy even its w/o me. I have a current bf but in my heart, I don't love him. He knows this though, he tries to help me move forward and has a stable job which makes me more stable and I don't see the kids anyway now they are at boarding school which was the best thing no matter how much I resisted it and we argued over custody but boarding school won out and worked out best now we only see them alternate holidays. I try to get over my ex husband cheating me but I can't. Its a real contradiction that we fouled on each other. Now all that is left is regret and it is destroying my sanity but I have a new life and chance. and no more kids.

we cheated on each other so much and regret is a vile creature. Never leave any regrets in your life...

I am sad all the time about my life and I feel embarrassed about my resume and work history and the waste of time university study and why I was never good enough for anything, I feel like I cant have a relationship or baby til I have a job, rick said that is how life is and he is American so it has to be right, so I was told there was no point looking for love or romance or having babies with a job, not that a job helped much anyway and what pitiful efforts that I was doing paralegal/justice diploma and law degree and dropped out after being raped and had a strong I have studied a lot of short courses in health and lots of things and find study online so lonely and I feel my future is depressing with not much hope for skills, employment and relationships without a job your a nobody. I was bullied at Sarina Russo Job access and she made me fat not allowing me to study for 10 years or work or stick to my diet and exercise my back surgeon and psychiatrist wanted me to and she wouldn't allow me to do what I wanted to do. we had no choice she made me go on DEN before I even had a physical illness and would reject doctors advice letters and override them making my life so shut down without marriage, love, romance, fun, social life or income for over a decade that woman abused me like an insane ferret. Now I am 45 no husband no babies and my current doctors have said this has had a psychological hurt for me that these people didn't help me enough and what they did was evil. I left wellington pt family practice due to their laziness and getting my medical records mixed up with another person and their incompetence in treating my child sexual abuse issues and rape and stroke, all round very negligent lazy pathetic doctors there but for Dr Hill, Dr Greenbury and Dr Sarath. not impressed by RSL girl in a million quest and navy for allowing ken carey from hms melville to rape me and would like someone to sue them on my behalf to help me so far no law firm will help no parliamentary minister will help, not even the royal commission into child sexual abuse in institutions will help me and its so frustrating. my father went through the exact same thing being abused and thrown on the job and relationship scrap heap when he was 45 I was thrown there at 25.

I am sad all the time about my life and I feel embarrassed about my resume and work history and the ...