I confess that I really want to say I love U

I confess that I really want to say I love U to Zhou Ying Jie which is my long and lasting best friend since we are little children. However I hate that I have lost many chances to say this sentance. Now all what I can do are just to standby him and support hitm whenever he needs helps. Cause I have had a longterm boyfriend who may be become my husband; Cause we are not so familiar with each other just as before; Cause I have been accustomed to missing him in my depth heart.