1am and tummy rubbles in knots for food, on a no food diet.

I actually I don't feel that way, I refusse to feel guilty about this, like I told my mum about it and I said to her I refuse to feel guilty for what i did as a little girl of 4 or 8 or whatever due to a dirty old pedo sliming in my head and over playing doctors and nurses games or older kids playing those games or them playing mummies and daddies games with sexual play in them, to some degree it was innocent child cureosity and normal child sexual exploration. you can't protect kids from everything they find out about sex bit by bit and copy with little boyfriends and girlfriends as they grow up. i did with other boys even at school when i was 10 a boyfrind I had drown and i never got over that. if i had gone and played with him that day maybe he wouldn't have gone alone playing up around the water tower, we used to go for walks in the park and hold hands and kiss and share little lunch at school with him and his brother. i am not going to kill myself or live in guilt over these things for the rest of my life. that is not fair

I actually I don't feel that way, I refusse to feel guilty about this, like I told my mum about it ...

Do we need more meanness??? I sent this reply to a "friend" who sends me e-mails full of man-bashing "jokes" because she was in a bad marriage 30 years ago: I don't object to you sending me jokes, cartoons, or photos. I object to the jokes that imply women are better than men, or where some woman gets all smug about the stupidity of some man. The funniest jokes are based on truth, and this concept of female supremacy is no more valid than male supremacy ever was or is. Yeah, so men do stupid things. Women do stupid things, too. Everyone does stupid things. If the target of the contempt had been "ni**ers" or "fa**ots" instead of "husbands" you would have realized how destructive the sentiments were, and not passed them along. But because the contempt is aimed at men you think it's ok. Bigotry is bigotry - it's not ok. So you had a bad marriage, well so did I, so did [her daughter], so have a lot of people. Actually, [her ex-husband] has had more bad marriages than you have. Let it go. Those jokes didn't hurt any of the men who hurt you, they only poisoned your own mind with toxic meanness. And poisoned the minds of the women you sent them to. I like the cute pictures of animals and kids, funny road signs, silly people (in general) doing silly things, weirdly decorated vehicles, awesome scenery... things that are inspiring or amusing. Things that expand my world, not shrink it down. Aside from being based on an untrue concept ("women are better than men") the man-bashing stuff is just plain mean. It's not YOU or hearing from you that's the problem. I just don't want extra helpings of meanness. I see and hear so much mean, stupid, ignorant, ugly, anti-social stuff while going to & from work, and deal with ignorance and prejudice among the management staff where I work. I don't need more. It's depressing. I try to stay positive, and look forward to the future, and do what I can to pave my way to good years ahead. Things like the content of that e-mail just bum me out. So it's not a matter of the jokes, photos and cartoons you pass along not being funny; some of them are hilarious. And I'm always receptive to a [grandchild] story, or some pics of [her daughter's] family, or anything personal about you and your family whether it's happy news or sad. That's the stuff life is made of - the true things that happen to us all. Just please don't send me packets of hatred and prejudice. Thank you.

Do we need more meanness??? I sent this reply to a "friend" who sends me e-mails full of man-bashin...

I wish I could split this up into multiple categorie I'm 16 going on 17 and already feel like I've lived too long. I experimented with my best friend when I was 8, but lied and said he sexually abused me because I was so embarrassed. I'm so good at lying that I end up believing my own lie, making me ignore the problem, but still feeling the incredible guilt from it. As I grew up, I sexually abused several of my other friends, all because I decided I didn't want to control my hormones. I'm very kind and forgiving (generally), but I can't seem to forgive myself. I'm becoming very overweight and annoying. I can't help but want to kill myself because Aof all I've done, and I can't get it off my chest because Ill go to jail. I also am extremely paranoid, have severe OCD, ADHD, Aspergers, Tourette's, and can't seem to believe in a higher power if my life

I wish I could split this up into multiple categorie I'm 16 going on 17 and already feel like I've l...